Opioid Eyes

Posted: March 19, 2019 by Ty in Soul Psalms
Tags: , , , ,

eyes-of-buddha-1In the road of recovery for Psychogenic Non-epileptic Seizures it is taking control of your thoughts, emotions, and body. It is learning what lies beneath. The PTSD work can be done before or after, it makes most sense for me after so I do not seize throughout. Thoughts lead to memories, memories lead to seizures. Unless the seizures have slowed and a 15 hour marathon sleep of dream forgiveness work takes hold.

 

The eyes

gateway to the soul

windows that reflect

joy or pain

hate or humiliation

or nothingness

Eyes that used to be curious

and mischievous fun

a sidekick that called me “bobo” when young

What happened?

What pain was missed?

That brought you into my world

Left me powerless

red tape and rules

why did I follow, and not help

Could I have helped?

Would it have healed?

Those mornings and days

seeing you

eyes vacant

staring through my soul

burning a hole

My left hand trembles

my voice cracks

between buildings as a bystander aided

mitigating their pain and fear

as your eyes

stared through me,

Saying,

“Who are you?”

Haunted too long for that which I could not control

Wishing a better way

Knowing lost in the now is not lost forever

a path back you will find.

A better way to deal with the pain.

I am sorry,

I could not be the helper you needed.

But tonight, I simply, must release

and forgive myself…

as tears soak through…

for not being enough for many,

i loved.

 

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