The Price: A Holy Saturday Contemplation

Holy Saturday. The day of awaiting. The day of the unknown in Holy Week. When the gospels tell us the men huddled in fear, the women planned how to honour their friend, possible husband, and son through the cultural norms. The day of silence, of unknowing. The day when the Empire and the Oppressors were searching for those who were seen as “co-conspirators” with the messianic rebel Jesus of Nazareth.

The three days in real time, that those who were called friends at a dinner in an upper room, were grieving, experiencing anger, fear, anxiety— trauma of the crucifixion, as the powers to be tried to destroy (and appeared as they had succeeded) in snuffing out hope for being and belonging for all.

In Peter and Mary Magdalene’s mind and hearts I can only imagine the racing, of their love, and calling others into the life had now placed them at risk. Risk of torture, risk of death, and how far would the ripples extend? Would it just be to those that were part of the followers? Those that celebrated on Palm Sunday at the Triumphal Entry? Or would all connected to them made to be an example for the Empire on why you did not think outside the box? Or challenge the norms? Would all be lost simply by a choice they had made to be different? To be heroic in their own time?

These are themes that echo as I read the follow up companion to the Heroes in Crisis mini-series that touched my journey during my own struggles with PTSD. For those who may not know, Heroes in Crisis was a 9 part series about what happens when super heroes need help, the journey of Sanctuary, PTSD, and psychotic break, followed by murder mystery in the realm of healing for those that have answered the call to be heroes. It is now available as a trade paper back and I encourage you to read it.

The second volume, touches on the ripple effects out of that series, much like Holy Saturday. It is the follow up to the deaths. The follow up to the impact on the heroes left behind. Sound familiar in our own world? As we struggle in a pandemic? Watching those who continue to serve, and knowing the dangers, those that will fall ill and may not recover. Just like the journey of mental illness and health, physical health is the same, intertwined together and should, as our Indigenous brothers and sisters keep reminding us, be viewed through the heart lens of Wellness (ala the Medicine Wheel) for all pieces need to come out the other end together).

The same thoughts in the grieving process I can imagine Peter and Mary Magdalene, probably Mary of Nazareth, Jesus’ Mummy reflecting on, I too have held in my own journey and through the darkness to healing into the light anew. Knowing the pain and heart ache that can, and sometime does happen is it right to equip, encourage and prepare others to serve?

This is where we are in Heroes in Crisis: The Price. Oliver Queen, the Green Arrow reacting in anger towards the Justice League for failing his friend who has died. Wrestling with no matter the money he had, he was unable to save his friend. Think of our own responses in loss? How many times does Oliver’s sentiments echo in our own soul? Change out money with other skills, talents, privileges and resilience we have that came to naught when death finally came. Some may say why bring up these hard discussions, can you not read the room with what the world is going through right now?

Yes, I can, and that is why we should be talking about wellness. It is important, especially now. Understanding the cycle storms of grieving and change is important (google U Theory or Kubler-Ross’, also previous writings of mine show these) to know that normal things happen during these times of transition.

For Holy Saturday it is usually a day of contemplative prayer and practiced silence for hearing the Holy Mystery speak to us, as they did nearly 2,000 years ago to those hiding then.

The story unfolds more into the tale of Batman and Flash. Those who raise the question through the story of Gotham and Gotham Girl, about the appropriateness of encouraging and equipping others for the life. The life that can cost so much, that the meta-myth is that they choose to be heroes to protect their loved ones, yet it is their loved ones that continue suffering as a result of the choice.

“I’ve dealt with too many unsolved cases in my life. You and I have so many mysteries as it is…I can’t afford your lies anymore.”

-Barry Allen, The Flash

In the ruins of the Flash museum, still grieving the loss of his nephew and returned friend, Wally West, from Heroes in Crisis, Barry confronts Batman. It echoes the truth in human services, the many times we are left with the unknown, the incomplete, the loss and we create our own narratives to push us through. To be able to continue to function, the ideas “we can’t save them all” or “it’s their choice” or (insert your favourite here). All are truthie, yet all remove the humanity from the equation in the journey, the connection, the intimacy of the journey of healing, and the most importantly that to do the work well, one must see each person as having value for simply being human. Inherent and intrinsic value and worth.

When things are left a mystery, when we are unable to have healthy closure, or when we experience loss of life-

It takes a toll.

And this is the challenge for as the heroes left behind continue answering crisis after crisis, while trying to solve the death of their friends the truth of the situation echoes out. The work never stops, and neither does one’s own life and challenges running parallel. Yet in our own world of service we continually hear the false mantra of efficiency from neo-liberal governance “DO MORE WITH LESS” and we are left broken, for the impossibility and implausibility of it all.

Like Green Arrow’s question in anger at his friend’s funeral to the Justice League, “Where’s Batman and Flash, did he not matter enough?”

The truth was, he mattered, and the work was to find the killer. In the work, they could not let themselves pause, to feel the pain of loss.

Subsumed.

Unable to be with their own humanity.

As we await the new, in the darkness and the uncertain. We are in the house, like the first Holy Saturday, what world do we want to emerge in to? What are you hearing from the Holy Mystery?

Are we going to affirm our value in simply being?

Affirm and live into our collective value of being humanity?

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Geek-i-tude

In just two months my monthly trip to the comic shop to pick up the new Heroes in Crisis will come to an end. As this has aided a renewal in some fun in life, I have decided I should figure out another series to pick up and read. With news Supermans titles would be going weekly it became a bit too expensive to pick up. With Detective Comics #1000 I was piqued with the new storyline starting in 1001 and picked that up.

Though Tom King was the writer of H.i.C. and Batman #68 looked like a standalone story to sample. Well, it was part of the Knightmares storyline (part 6) of the deconstructing of Batman. I will try not to give any spoilers.

It was a fun story of a bachelorette night with Lois Lane and Selina Kyle discovering friendship and shenanigans.

How can this be a Knightmare in deconstructing Batman/Bruce Wayne? Seeing joy is wrong?

No.

It is deeper than that, and for anyone that has perhaps journeyed through trauma you can get it. You become hyper-vigilant to seeing the horrors, and the catastrophic. It leads to constantly being a fight/flight/freeze scenario. You replay your life, and relive that which you have lost. For Bruce, it was seeing Selina who he had lost, and coming to the realization that there was nothing that meant more to him. The inability to feel/focus on gratitude it one of the biggest emotional numbing agents within PTSD before and during healing.

The other piece is in the conversation between Bruce and Clark, about the worst nightmare for Bruce. The quiet. Bruce hates the world that makes Batman necessary, but what happens if Batman is no longer necessary?

What is the greatest fear of the situation you are in?

What is your major support? Have you told them so? Authentically, have you paused. I have written previously of the Jonah Effect, those that bail on us when crisis or illness arrive. Yet, how often do we truly acknowledge those that have continued the journey with us and been there for us.

The Knightmare was for Bruce realizing that which could possibly be no more, because he was too focused on everything else to let himself be present for the good. That is Selina.

Today I was proud to be able to share the supports of my wife, kids, 3-5 close friends, Dad and his wife that have continued on this journey of pain, sorrow, and now healing with me. There is gratitude which provides more healing. It was humorous and learning to see this type of struggle from our world shared in our current mythology.

Before you go forward, whereever you are on the journey, truly take time and pause–

Who are those that support you and you support them in the journey?

The Bat & The Cat

Okay I am a wee nip loving the discount trade paperback bin at Revival Records and Comics by my house. There I have said it, but I in no way want an intervention currently. It is a great way to discover those stories that the Public Library has yet to score, and that I just can’t swing paying full cover price for at Chapters.

This week it brought some contemplative fun around family, and can folks actually change. One is a collection of one shots centered around the up coming nuptials of Catwoman (Selina Kyle) and Batman (Bruce Wayne)-yes there may be some spoilers.

But it is truly about family, and weird connections, as an undercurrent story is The Joker actually trying to get an invitation to the wedding because he does not see Batman as an enemy, but rather as his best friend who he has grand ol’ times with. Then there is the story of Damien Wayne, the current Robin, coming to terms with what it means to have a step-mum, and truly moving away from his grandfather’s heritage to accept the true him.

Batman’s boyhood friend, Hush, comes back to show that he has finally found away to get what he wants to be–close to his friend Bruce (the Batman) by physically altering himself to be Dick Grayson. The shenanighans started at Batman’s bachelor party with Dick (Nightwing) and Superman.

A great father-son moment ensues after the superhero battle of Dick and Bruce accepting and acknowledging how good of friends they are, and then Dick realizing Superman has the rings.

And the response is awesome- “I get it, he’s Superman”

And then there’s more fun as Batgirl tackles the Riddler in a move to ensure no villains crash the party, and Harley Quinn decides to get some “exposure therapy” for her PTSD from the abusive relationship with her Puddin’ Mr. J.

Each story raises how do we determine who are family is…and more importantly our path to happiness.

Which then leads me into the flow of the second find, Batman Vol. 6 Bride or Burglar by Tom King. They are a collection of stories in King’s wheel house, how the human being will respond to trauma, and where our centre’s rest. The opening story is about a wealthy son who has lost his parent’s to violence “The Origin of Bruce Wayne” is a one and done story mystery about how Zasz has gotten in and out of Arkham to commit murders and add to the tallies’ on his skin…only for it to come home to roost that the child, wants desperately to be Bruce Wayne, he is the murderer.

What happens with pain and grief that goes unprocessed? What happens when a child truly has no one? Is this the way our society should be in the world?

Then there is the Super Friends story arc with Wonder Woman where she and Batman go into another dimension to give the eternal warrior, the Gentle Man, a break from the hordes of evil for a day so he can see his wife. A day though our time, is decades there time. Can Bruce still hold to Selina as his lightning rod? As the weariness of war wears him down? Will the Gentle Man decide to return and if not, what does this mean for our world?

Why does this story (or any comic story matter)? Simple, like our television shows and movies, I challenge you that they are our new mythology. Our heroic meta-narratives, and within this arc what King is asking is:

Can someone else fill your vocational call?

The volume closes with a story of Poison Ivy, that leads into Heroes in Crisis (regular readers know is one of my favourite storylines currently, issue 8 out April 24). Ivy believes she has killed, and has lost it. Tied into the green she literally takes over the world and all the 7.5 billion minds along with it. The Bat and the Cat are left free, for a reason, to play out what is happening.

Can they help Ivy find the truth?

The journey through the darkness, the wilderness, to allow the truth to emerge. As the truth emerges (she did not kill, the Riddler did during the Vol.4 War of Jokes and Riddles), she becomes open to PTG (Post Traumatic Growth) by healing, by entering Sanctuary.

It raises questions as we challenge and examin our own journeys. In contemplative spirituality, the Daily Examin is not a list of sins, or screw ups. It is a time to pause, reflect, and contemplate what was good, what was meh, what can change, and where have we grown. During Lent the Daily Examin brings us into the wilderness experience, a literal example here with Ivy in this story, as we move towards the SONrise, but first, we must journey and choose.

Where is your wilderness taking you?

What needs to be released?

Unresolved Grief Corrupts…

It is a comic book based on a video game. Normally it would be a unique read, but it is not Archie’s Sonic the Hedgehog or Mega Man we are talking about. It is Taylor, Raapack and Miller’s Injustice: Gods Among us Year One. When boiled down to its core, it is the story of grief, loss and the corruption to the soul that happens when one cannot seek help. The first issue sets the stage (yes there are a few spoilers, but not many).

The Joker is bored with losing to Batman, and hatches an evil plan to see what happens when you rip the soul from a hero. Superman is gitty anxious, for Clark Kent has just woken up surprised to hear the heartbeat of his child inside his wife, Lois Lane. The Scarecrow murdered and his fear gas taken. Lois and Jimmy off to break a story. BANG! The Joker quips he has gotten Jimmy on his shoe. Lois kidnapped.

The scheme hatched.

Fear gas and Kryptonite leave Superman seeing the monstrous Doomsday about to rampage, as the Joker tells him Lois is dead, and did you know she was pregnant? In a rage he flies Doomsday into the atmosphere, too late for Batman to warn him it is not Doomsday, but Lois, still alive, and made a living deadman’s switch to a nuke aimed at Metropolis.

What happens when Superman loses Clark Kent as Lois Lane and his city die?

I miss Superman. I miss the guy who actually inspired people. The Superman who had time to help a kid who fell off a bike. Before he was changed. Before he gritted his teeth and looked angry all the time. Before he became all hard and dark because people supposedly, needed him to. I miss the City of Tomorrow and the Man of Yesterday.

-James, a boy who Superman fixed his bike B.L. (Before Lois died)

Grief can do many things to a person’s being. Depression. Anxiety. Anger. Physical pain. To name but just a few. When lost in the anger and the grief, when someone is not able to see the path out for themselves, and those around them are unwilling to remove the veil from their own eyes. The eyes that just want to believe everything is hunky-dory…then grief is destructive. Within this story construct it leads Superman to work to create the world in his own ideal world of no crime or violence. Sounds great, but i completely removes free will, and is enforced.

Batman leads the resistance as he realizes that Superman has jumped the shark “Superman is no longer the man we knew.”

But backing up, it is Catwoman and Martha Kent that get what is needed. Not more bloodshed, not removing control of the world, or breaking of the Batman. No, it is something far simpler, for this hurting hero:

Catwoman: is this what you’re doing now? Killing criminals in sewers.

Superman: No! I wouldn’t–I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just want to talk.

Catwoman: So talk.

Superman: It’s Batman.

Catwoman: What happened?

Superman: Nightwing…Nightwing died. He’ll need someone.

Catwoman: You’re supposed to be his best friend. Go talk to him.

Superman: I can’t. He wouldn’t–

Catwoman: Oh, you idiotic, stubborn, scared little boys.

Superman: Too much has happened.

Catwoman: That’s crap! Batman would throw himself in front of a bullet and you would fight Doomsday to the death— and you’d both find that easier and less terrifying than trying to talk to your friend. It’s maddening.

Yes, Selina Kyle, Catwoman is right. It can be maddening how a helper can find it so difficult to open up to another helper to…

HEAL.

How different would this story have turned out, if these two best friends, had chosen the good grief path?

Will you heal today?

 

Detective Comics #1000

For 26 issues it was a crime comic, then in issue #27 the Bat-man created by Bob Kane, who would eventually become Batman. The Dark Knight, The Caped Crusader, World’s Greatest Detective, one half of the Dynamic Duo, one half of World’s Finest and 1/3 of DC’s Trinity.

Detective Comics the title that brought us the journey of Bruce Wayne (yes there were many others, but I always liked how Detective Comics kept to a more espionage-mystery feel in their stories).

Today the 1,000th issue came out. A great collection of short stories touching on what is the theme of Batman from great writers past and present.  Paul Dini, Tom King, Scott Snyder, Denny O’Neil, Warren Ellis, Brian Michael Bendis and others (yes I realize it is a visual medium and I focus on writers, but it’s my jam).

What are the themes of Batman? A cursory look at the hero that in the past has killed sometimes actively or passively, a solver of mysteries, a beach head against the insanity of Arkham, and the darkness that is Gotham City to Metropolis’ light.

What is the mission of Batman however?

Did he truly lose himself in Crime Alley when his parents’ were murdered before him? Did Bruce Wayne die that night?

The truth is a journey.

A journey to replace, no, renew and discover the new with what you have lost. Post Traumatic growth if you will for the Dark Knight Detective in renewing a new family for him.

To quote Deadpool, the 1000th issue is about the F word—

Family.

Who is your family?

DC’s Heroes in Crisis: Thoughts so Far…

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Internalized trauma. We know it is a reality in soldiers, abuse survivors, first responders. Now King and Mann bring this reality to the world of super-heroes. Some will toss it aside as yet another hero deconstructed story. There is more to it than that however. For it is also about the hero as person. Understanding that their decisions, lives and experiences craft who they are.

Welcome to Sanctuary. A specialty location built by the Trinity (Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman) for the utmost privacy in debriefing, and healing. It is  a place with a computer therapist that allows for complete autonomy. Supposedly no recordings, it is there for health. We are 2/9 issues in and so far it is a strong character driven story.

It is also a super hero story. As Sanctuary is not safe, someone has attacked and murdered those who sought healing. There are two suspects who survived of those that were supposed to be there. Was it an outside attack? Did the missing survivors have a psychotic break and kill?

Within those that are now dead, there are chilling full page confessionals sharing the effects of the life. These that show how out of control Blue Jay’s shrinking powers have become during his flashbacks. Truly showing how internalized trauma affects the whole self, whether it is convulsions, sweats, hypertension…the list can go on as no one patient is identical, same with the stories of the heroes seeking aid. Coming to the place that is supposed to be safe to decompress.

The heroes lay themselves bare.

Then the idea of stigma is so well handled. As even the big 3, the Trinity, use Sanctuary. Guard down, masks off. Who is the ones that use it for help? Who are the ones that continue to squash and avoid emotion? The answer may surprise you as tears flow.

Then the hack and the revelation that someone has the stories. The double standard is shown as the first story leaked is Arsenal (formerly Speedy), a recovering addict. The shock and dismay of the public on the hero laid bare.

Stigma.

Why someone would not seek help for trauma?

Laid out well in the shock of the public that a hero would have demons to battle. Even as walls come down around mental health support, old stigmas, internalized dialogues still persist.

The greatest fear of seeking help:

What if someone finds out?

What will the world think?

Will my loved ones see me as weak?

What will I lose by diagnosis?

 

Holy Remembering a super hero or super villain in the story of you?

Have you danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

-Joker (as portrayed by Jack Nicholson in 1989’s Batman)

There are many catch phrases in Christendom that have grown out of the Pauline, Johannine, James’ and Jesus’ schools of ancient thought (to name but a few, but each of the original 11 surviving men, and 7 women established their own mystery schools and so began the cult of saints).  But I digress. The opening quote does tie into a spiritual practice/discipline. For there are two catch phrases that seem to resonate around again and again within Christendom—that of John 3:16, but also of “Remember who you are.”.

Over the past few weeks in church our minister is doing a series on the Letter to the Church in Ephesus (also known as Ephesians). It was written by a student of Paul’s.  In the early chapters of the letter Pseudo-Paul spends time getting the hearers to remember who they were, what they have come through and who they are now. It is deeper than just what we in the 21^st century think of when we hear remember. For it is the pilgrimage.

The struggle between shadow and self; the unity of anima/animus; yin/yang. Both sides of a coin. The pieces that need to find unity for completion, and those parts we need to work beyond (ala Cosmic Christ moving beyond Ego).  Or as Levi reminds us in the Aquarian Gospel:

7. The living waters always leap and skip about like lambs in spring.
   8.The nations are corrupt; they sleep within the arms of death and they must be aroused before it is too late.
   9. In life we find antagonists at work. God sent me here to stir unto its depths the waters of the sea of life.
   10. Peace follows strife; I come to slay this peace of death. The prince of peace must first be prince of strife.
   11. This leaven of truth which I have brought to men will stir the demons up, and nations, cities, families will be at war within themselves.

–Aquarian Gospel 113:7-11

The war within. The eternal struggle between angelic and demonic ways. The stardust and chakra sludge. Giving in to the easy journey of selfishness and independence instead of striving for selflessness and interdependence. Now before you say how does the Joker show us this? Think back to any portrayal of Batman-Joker you have seen; or Superman-Lex Luthor, Wonder Woman-Ares; heck even Captain America-Red Skull, (Robin Hood-Prince John/Sheriff of Nottingham) and what you see in these tales that keep going over and over again that become our archetypes to show that unity means wrestling with the darkest pieces of ourselves manifested. And yes, in those instances as noted above the darkest shadow self, is our greatest strengths twisted when we are at our most lost in the wilderness of our interior castle.

13. And Philip said, Must men and women suffer in the flames because they have not found the way of life?
    14.And Jesus said, The fire purifies. The chemist throws into the fire the ores that hold all kinds of dross.
    15. The useless metal seems to be consumed; but not a grain of gold is lost.
    16. There is no man that has not in him gold that cannot be destroyed. The evil things of men are all consumed in fire; the gold survives.

-Aquarian Gospel 116:13-16

Let those words resonate as you begin or continue your pilgrimage to the sacred heart within you. To get to gold the fires must burn away the crud and sludge, that which stops the shine and shimmer. So is the pilgrimage to our interior castle to live out of it. The crap must be burned away, a purgatory if you will (and yes there is some Roman Catholic theology around purgatory as this type of thing) that only leaves the truly good, very blessed creation continuing to live forward. Also, sometimes the sludge we have built up that has been cast on us is not due to our own actions, but the abuse of others, but in the process we also need to allow the purging of this crap to be able to shine forward as we truly are.

19. Go forth and take possession of the unclean quadrupeds.
    20.And they, and all the evil spirits of the tombs went forth and took possession of the breeders of the plague,
    21. Which, wild with rage, ran down the steeps into the sea, and all were drowned.
    22. And all the land was freed of the contagion, and the unclean spirits came no more.
    23. But when the people saw the mighty works that Jesus did they were alarmed. They said,
    24. If he can free the country of the plague, and drive the unclean spirits out, he is a man of such transendent power that he can devastate our land at will.
    25. And then they came and prayed that he would not remain in Gadara.

-Aquarian Gospel 118:19-25

An ancient story of Jesus casting out the torments of Legion into the unclean animals, showing that even when we take this as a story of the pilgrimage we can be like the people of Garda standing on the precipice of unification with our Cosmic Christ only to push back and away.

But is this the point there is two paths to choose, and we must contemplate which one as we literally/figuratively and allegorically dance with our own personal devil in the moonlight?

26. And Jesus said, We cannot look upon a single span of life and judge of anything.
    27.There is a law that men must recognise: Result depends on cause.
    28. Men are not motes to float about within the air of one short life, and then be lost in nothingness.
    29. They are undying parts of the eternal whole that come and go, lo, many times into the air of earth and of the great beyond, just to unfold the God-like self.
    30. A cause may be a part of one brief life; results may not be noted till another life.

-Aquarian Gospel 114: 26-30

The role of life and decisions. The build up of karma when we choose the path of selfishness/ego for this life, next life or past lives… BUT when we choose the path of angelic/Cosmic Christ and living into and out of L-O-V-E (Dharma) our selves and our localized world transform for the better. Much like the pebble in the pond creating cosmic ripples through the stardust that connects everything into the Holy Mystery and the Holy Mystery into everything.

Today, as we celebrate the giving of sacred life with those who are our mothers; grandmothers; crones whether by birth, choice or tribal roles given. Take time to decide if you are going to choose the path of light or dark?

At this moment in time, will you choose the path of the hero or the villain? What will you need to do to be able to change direction of your path. To be able to become your own Batman/Superman/Wonder Woman?

Are you willing to dance in the moonlight?

 

 

DC’s Earth One Graphic Novel Series what reboots should be

So yeah, I have now read and thoroughly enjoyed 6 volumes of the DC Earth One Graphic Novels. I have mentioned in other posts some of them. From the re-imagining of Superman into a young adult, social justice crusader out to better the world and Lex Luthor as the surviving part of the original L2 Duo of geniuses out to destroy him, to Batman to the Teen Titans, Earth One is what the New 52 should have been about.

Stripping away years of baggage, getting to the core of the character, the icon and presenting them freshly for the 21st century. If DC did their movies this way, they would be bankrupting the super hero wing of Disney Corp.

Anyway, today thanks to the wonders of the Calgary Public Library, I got to read Wonder Woman Earth One Volume One, and Grant Morrison and the crew hit it out of the park. This was not the dark murderous-Goddess of War B.S. of the new 52, it was truly re-imagining the origin/struggle of Princess Diana discovering a world outside of Paradise Island, and bridging two worlds, much like creator William Moulton Marston imagined. It is a story to show the error of gender stereotyping, show that violence is not the solution, but also the wonder of the world we usually ignore.

This may provide some spoilers, but know this as you enter in.

Steve Trevor re-imagined as an African-American Air Force Pilot is brilliant, especially with the subtle commentary on being sent on the weird mission into the Bermuda Triangle ( I will let the reader connect the dots on that one).

Queen Hippolyta’s PTSD/Fear of men working to victimize her daughter coming out of adolescence and wanting fear to be thrown off to enter into the world.C’mon one word: MEDUSA.

The chilling opening where Hercules has the Queen chained and degrading her, alluding to the abuse before, and the victory of Hippolyta breaking her bondage, ending her victimization.

The new take on Wonder Woman’s origin that shreds patriarchy.

The first time Diana steps into a U.S. Hospital and she is faced with the horrors of a medical system based on $$$$ money! Not compassion, need and healing…

To her sisters bringing her to trial for what they see as a crime in entering Man’s world…

To the final choice…Which world? Or Both?

So the question that is left open with this story, like our own lives, are we willing to take the leap of faith into the darkness knowing that our light will confuse it and transform it?

Are you ready?