That’s NOT Normal

That is NOT Normal

“I’m going to have to ask you, Ty to take Leland out, he is to distract for me to preach” after a visceral head snap back and flash of anger at my child’s joy during a Santa Clause service at a spiritual centre. This is just one of many types of inhospitable spaces of the Holy that Thomas E. Reynolds (2008) in his practical, personal and theological work, Vulnerable Communion: A Theology of Disability and Hospitality would have explored as he too is a Dad with a child with exceptionalities, differently abled (my son’s term is super powers) or as we know them at a cultural level whether visible or invisible as disabilities (though in Alberta at least, there are still some Canadians that use the atrocious “r” word slur or short bus jokes, and yes these can be in the church). Other examples pop to mind of folks in churches articulating sounds being distracting, or that “children like that do not belong here” to scapegoating disruption or bullying from wealthier families to the children with exceptionalities (these examples came back to mind as I read Reynolds).  Reynolds at this point is an entryway, especially for those who have not slowed to contemplate, for those engaged in the theological work whether consciously or unconsciously due to intersections with community, it is reflective.  Reflective on the concept of the myth of normal, how this book may aid a spiritual community, understanding of Imageo Dei and intersections of the journey of ableism. Can there be reconciliation in these communities or others, after the truths shared?  For, the cornerstone in the church that allows this truth to exist is simply the fact the child or adult it is directed as is not normal.

The Myth of Normal

What is normal?  This is at the root of ableism and eugenics. Essentially, it is whatever the majority or the wealthy of a society stipulate is the benchmark for normal.  Yes, there are tests that show whether or not an infant or child is thriving or not that aid in diagnosis. Historically this diagnosis would lead to segregation and isolation within institutions, horrific trials and tribulations, perhaps unmitigated electroshock therapy, neglect/abuse, harsh psychotherapeutics to catatonia, forced sterilizations to name a few.  As time progressed, there is the shift to community living and supports, integration supposedly into community life. Government entitlements if they can prove themselves worthy, supports for families or the adult caregivers if the parents surrender into care for not being able to care from early intervention through to adulthood.  Some are covered, most for extra care and staff are designed in Alberta for the parents to pay out first and then await the reimbursement. An assumption that only wealthy can embrace the beautiful diversity of the Imageo Dei.

The diagnosis whether historically or currently are used to separate. It can be into blessed communities that embrace the diversity, but the support staff when grieving are not given supports other schools would be given. Using the idiom, it’s part of the job get back to work. For the children, the catchphrase they don’t understand, they are not cognitive (removing the concept of emotion, connection and belonging from the child because they do not fulfill a “normal” benchmark for cognition or interaction). Grief is universal, but we do not want to understand how to aid our vulnerable to grieve.

Even think of how we introduce folks, we focus on the deficit. This is how you can help them or explaining what to expect behaviour wise from their diagnosis.  At any point in the introduction did we get to know them? What is their passion? Their purpose? Who they actually are?  It is one of the ways diagnosis or labels can be detrimental instead of being used to set up space for accessibility and inclusion for the highest need for access we use it to move a person from personhood to medical jargon, which makes othering easier.

Makes as, Reynolds (2008) shares in his book, they are not normal, so we do not need to see them as neighbour.  Anyone who has a disability or is a loved one of a person with a disability knows how this happens in society, and sadly, if we attempt to engage in church many times we are met with overt or covert ableism. The implicit or explicit bias, depending on the person and their position or giving in the church it is either challenged or accepted. For we have a concept of normal, it is a myth.

Imageo Dei

Normalcy is a myth, there is the old chestnut or dad joke, what is normal? That is precisely the answer and should be the Christian response with our theological understanding of the created image of God. I have spoken and written on this topic immensely over the lifespan of my ministries, taken time to cultivate spaces of welcome for all abilities. Suffered the slings and arrows for a colloquialism for it, and yes in one associate role, was voted into non-existence at an Annual General Meeting I was in attendance in of a progressive congregation for having members in the children and youth ministries on the Autism Spectrum and Cerebral Palsy. Was it ableism because of the diagnosis? Or ableism because of the church having 3 floors and not wanting the cost of the lift? Which bias or stereotype was driving the soft excommunication of the disabled?

A missing piece of understanding the incarnation of Jesus of Nazareth, who took on the outcast story. Who pushed back, challenged, and began the steps of healing of the socio-cultural (justice issues really) of exclusion for those that missed the truth of poetry in the Hebrew Bible (I have taken to use this term for the Old Testament, after reading Sir Rabbi Jeffrey Sacks, that pointed out the term “Old Testament” was an act of Anti-Semitism), from Genesis 1:26-28 (New Revised Standard Version, Updated Edition, 2024):

²⁶ Then God said, “Let us make humans^[c] in our image, according to our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over the cattle and over all the wild animals of the earth^[d] and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.”

²⁷ So God created humans^[e] in his image,
    in the image of God he created them;^[f]
    male and female he created them.

²⁸ God blessed them,

We are made in the Creator’s image. There was no qualifiers within the poetry. No differentiation or hierarchy. This is an understanding I was already engaging Reynolds’ with, some would not have as the journey and theological premises behind building this concept is quite clear as a shared experience of writer, teacher and Dad, I know where Reynolds’ was coming from, and his use of Jean Vanier’s theology, founder of L’Arche (and yes an abuser), also inspired one of the more known individuals who wrote of experience in disability community, Henri Nouwen.

For all four (I include myself here), and hopefully many others, the truth of the Imageo Dei, is one cannot fully understand or live this teaching without fully understanding all humanity is that image. Which ties back to the concept of introduction, and that those with disabilities are not here for us to serve, for us to teach or pity or… the list can go on.

They are here as part of the image. Like all parts of the image, that the Shema (known in the Christian Testament as the Great Commandments) speaks to love of God with our everything that is interconnected, and interdependent (not the story of life with Creator does not speak of individualism) to be able to love self and neighbour. This type of love is what my practical theology of belonging, one may say disability is built upon. We exist to be with one another, to aid one another in thriving, to create the just society that allows for these conditions understanding science, politics, arts, humanities, trades, etc. that give meaning and purpose, are all tools in our toolbox or toys in our toybox to create thriving creative and loving communities.

That is, if we can get out of our own way to allow the hope of the Holy to flow and wash away the myth of normalcy, to see the beautiful mosaic of the image of God.

Intersections with Ableism or can I belong here?

The Belonging Pyramid is an inverted pyramid precariously held up on the love from the Greatest Commandment lived out in an healthy interdependent community. The top of the pyramid is the easiest thing churches can do, but some fail. Accessibility, can one legitimately get into the building and access the spaces of the building? This is building code, there is bonus points if the access offers dignity to the image of God. There is also bonus points if the language is accessible, do we allow for pictures or other communication assist devices? Do we explain pieces of the rituals happening and why so folks who are new or different neurology’s can follow? Or do we lean into, this is the way it is an folks who know know, like a secret society? Do we point to lack of money for needed renovations without exploring grants or other fundraising concepts or partnerships? Do we plan for Universal Design for both spiritual formation (learning) and building?

The next piece leans into Universal Design, as it speaks to inclusion. Now that we are in the space, is there a space for us? A seat or a space for our ability assistance device we use (not usage not bound, it isn’t a form of bondage, I am not bonded to my legs, they move me, so do walkers, canes and wheelchairs) or do we use the idea of fire code and treat the user as furniture? Imagine that stigmatization, do we do the same thing with a slower moving or larger person who may be at an end of a row?

If we pass the row of inclusion, the precarious tip of the pyramid rooted in the heart of the threefold love of the Great Commandments, is belonging.  Belonging is hard. Belonging is knowing one beyond socioeconomics, socio-culture, diagnosis, and other labels of society. Belonging is knowing one by name, knowing who we can share and be supported by, knowing who we support, who we live life with the joys and sorrows, and moments of uncontrolled giggles for no reason, belonging is when we miss a moment or event or appointment someone cares, notices and reaches out. Belonging is the greatest risk, because there could be a day when do to moving, life circumstance or succumbing to a chronic condition or pandemic or epidemic or MAiD (in Alberta accessed after chronic conditions with the co-occurrence of loneliness or poverty or both), the space where the person usually is—empty. Belonging is knowing one day you will grieve in change and be grieving loss.

How can this book be used?

Reynolds’ work is a good entry point for congregations that have never pondered. Congregations that have yet to engage with the aging community, or with, in Alberta as we have known for over two decades by this time in history 1 in 6 children will be born with or acquire an exceptionality in their early years. It opens the conversation, and the challenges with the right guide so that biases can be challenged, and hopefully changed for healthier communities.

For the myth of normal can be eliminated. Would it change outcomes of ex-communication or ostracism as has been touched upon in the personal journey here? In some instances, it could, there could have been a work through point, up to a point. But then the challenge of the sacred building stands and whether or not to continue to accessibility, inclusion and belonging the hardest discussion of the change to the “home of God” or “our church” conflated with the real estate would happen. Essentially has the forced, yet more subtle ostracisms/ex-communication is just delayed until the individual can no longer participate.

Reference

New Revised Standard Version, Updated Edition. (2024) ESV Online.

https://www.biblegateway.com

Reynolds, Thomas E. (2008). Vulnerable Communion: A Theology of Disability and Hospitality.

Brazos Press.

https://www.indigo.ca/en-ca/vulnerable-communion-a-theology-of-disability-and-hospitality/9781587431777.html?searchType=products&searchTerm=vulnerable%20communion

A New Year’s Belonging Resource

Belonging is the hardest concept in human history.

How do we do it?

What does it look like individually? Interdependantly?

Politically?

Social support wise?

Spiritually or religiously?

A free e-book, on the Soul Risk of belonging, inside and out to aid, guide, percolate thought, debate, discussion and transformation in 2023.

soul-riskDownload

May you and your community,

be blessed by belonging in 2023.

In belonging what is healed? Part 2

My family has been reading through the Gospel of Luke this Advent season. It is a great way to engage with the Jesus story, lots comes at you each night in the one chapter to unpack, and work with our kids so they renew or come to new understanding of passages with where they are at in life. Who are the outcasts of our world that Jesus would have come to? Who would the ones being challenged by John the Baptist and Jesus be today?

How would you feel as Mary, taking all your you and saying “YES” to God? Would you? Was it a step of faith? Hope?  Was Elizabeth wrapped in joy with her late term pregnancy? What implications did this have on the drive of John the Baptist? Could he have been one with Asperger’s (which is now fully wrapped into the Autism Spectrum)? Was Jesus married? Does it increase or decrease your faith if he was?

And the parables. The wonderful stories of what it means to be the light, the sower. That is where our light shines and our seeds fall, how are we to love our friends, family, community, neighbours? How do we shine our light when our friends are locked into a negative thought cycle? How do we love when a friend gets disowned? What does it mean to have a home that lives the core values of Advent? That is a sacred safe space for all?

These are the stories that come to mind. Then you hit on belonging, and Luke provides.

¹⁷ One day as he was teaching, Pharisees and religion teachers were sitting around. They had come from nearly every village in Galilee and Judea, even as far away as Jerusalem, to be there. The healing power of God was on him.

^18-20 Some men arrived carrying a paraplegic on a stretcher. They were looking for a way to get into the house and set him before Jesus. When they couldn’t find a way in because of the crowd, they went up on the roof, removed some tiles, and let him down in the middle of everyone, right in front of Jesus. Impressed by their bold belief, he said, “Friend, I forgive your sins.”

²¹ That set the religion scholars and Pharisees buzzing. “Who does he think he is? That’s blasphemous talk! God and only God can forgive sins.”

^22-26 Jesus knew exactly what they were thinking and said, “Why all this gossipy whispering? Which is simpler: to say ‘I forgive your sins,’ or to say ‘Get up and start walking’? Well, just so it’s clear that I’m the Son of Man and authorized to do either, or both. . . .” He now spoke directly to the paraplegic: “Get up. Take your bedroll and go home.” Without a moment’s hesitation, he did it—got up, took his blanket, and left for home, giving glory to God all the way. The people rubbed their eyes, incredulous—and then also gave glory to God. Awestruck, they said, “We’ve never seen anything like that!”

-Luke 5:17-26 (The Message)

Many hear this story as a passion for these gents to get their friend healed, and what they were willing for that to happen. But that is a superficial, ablest read of the passage. Much like what we bring to many of the disability passages within the Gospels. See, the world of the time, as sadly today, saw folks with disabilities as less than, those to be hidden away, not engaged with, gawked at, the question being what did they or their parents do to be cursed like this.

But that is never how Jesus ends. Jesus challenges assumptions, yet this story starts even before Jesus. He is doing his thing, in a local home, many are going, crowds are growing. These guys hear what is going down, and want to be a part of it. But one of them is missing, the proverbial shut in, or institutionalized or child with disability whose family does not want to deal with the headache and hurt of being in a church. They know it will not be the same without their friend.

Belonging- he is known, he is acknowledged, he is wanted, and he is missed when not there.

They go back and get him, and bring him along.

Yet, as with many holy sites, the house and crowd were not accessible. Folks were unwilling to give up their space to let their friend through. Ever had the– but this is where we sit conversation? Or this is where we park? Or any claiming of sacred space as proprietary? This is what they were hit with.

But they persevered. They took accessibility into their own hands. Could you imagine being there as these gents built their own lift to get their friend to the Holy? Love drove them.

Jesus did not heal first off. First off he affirmed the divinity of the person. He did this by pointing out like everyone else, he had done good and ill (one cannot have sin without the dichotomy), but then said he was cleansed. The shock, was the shock against the religious caste system that tried to place deficiency, and non-personhood upon this man to make themselves, “HOLY”. Jesus was the nullifier of this unholy religiousity. Who are those we try to place non-personhood upon now to make ourselves feel HOLY?

To abate their shock, Jesus heals.

Why?

So the love his friends had for him, could be extended into the whole community.

Today, we do not need this.

We need to get the message of the love of the divine. That all are in the divine image. The Imageo Dei.

The challenge is letting go of the fear of change, the grieving of loss. For what have we lost with belonging?

What has been healed in belonging?

The Holy, Beloved, and Blessed Image of God that each one of us is created in.

What is healed, is the false rifts, separations and castes our fragile human ego (sin) have placed within our world.

WTH Church?

It is a question that gets asked of me quite a bit. Why Church? In this era when most of my generation has checked out, and as frequent readers know over the years the headaches we have had with church (for some of those fun anecdotes I direct you to my memoir Soul Ripples ), everything from a pastor trying to break up my family to another stalking me from church to church to being fired in an AGM as the church did not want a youth group made up of children with disabilities…sigh….

Anyone can write the litany of why the hell not to bother with church. I mean this past Sunday I sent in a prayer request to our Calgary congregation because due to some douches (it is a very holy word I promise) bullying in the pew my son does not feel safe in worship. We are working with my son to re-discover the love of the Holy Trinity that has it his life from when he was never to leave a hospital bed to being the awesome fun loving teen ager he is today. Church was also part of that love.

See that’s the crux of it. Where many point to abuses (and yes those who abuse should be tossed, no questions asked, and turned over to appropriate authorities); or to the worship of money (go to an AGM and you will discover what your local church holds to be true about money, for more structured church services where they place things speak of its value–that is the closer to the end the higher the value). In regards to money, we visited a mentor’s church of mine this past Sunday, and offering was after the few opening worship songs, my wife had heard me pontificate about the idea of Liturgical structure, but the freedom this created in the person not to worry about money during service struck home, simple placement.

But I digress.

Do I attend with my wife and kids, as others we know speak of going- tradition, habit, and-or fear of going to the warm place with the pokey things? NO

So why the hell do I bother with church?

Simple, we attend because we believe. We believe in Love as lived by Jesus, we believe in the community birthed by the Holy Spirit, and the creation we have been given care of by the Creator.

I have seen the good of church. In my own life, it was a place to heal after a storm. I saw my kids eyes light up with wonder when they chose to be baptized.

I have seen the church as a whole activated to care for those in need, the literal homeless, ill, caring for elders, and those with dementia. Creating space for celebration of birthdays and weddings and life victories. Journeying with those in love, who are in transition or mourning.

Standing in loving justice that all are blessedly the same but gloriously different.

My Nan told stories of the church in England during the war, the place of comfort and meeting. How the Salvation Army ensured all were fed.

The children of her neighbourhood told stories no matter who they were, the Mays was always a safe place and Granddad and Nan were their second parents.

My Grandma wrote in her journals of the blessed belonging different churches created for her and my Dad and Uncle during their years.

Small groups caring for neighbours…generational homes being spaces always open for those that needed a port in a storm.

Note what is missing? Politics. Love of Money. Deciding who is Holy.

What is present, is a simple response to the Image of God before you with love and belonging.

Why do I bother, because it is in my soul– the HOPE that should and will be there with church when the Spirit moves…

The Pilgrimage continues…

Early September 2019 through the Presbyterian Church in Canada is an awesome resource coming that I was blessed to be a part of on being a church that visitors will want to call home. Watch for it!

 

Epistle of Strawolution 3

As we continue into the words of wisdom put to parchment by James, we enter what later Biblical editors termed chapter 2. The chapter and verse system of course was an outcome of the lectionary system. The lectionary is a reading guide for services that some (not all) churches employ. I enjoy using it when I preached/taught because in a 2 or 3 year cycle dependent on the lectionary over a course of Sundays you would touch upon/read all of the Hebrew Bible and Christian Testament. For a teacher/preacher it forces one out of their comfort zones and into some of the other corners of the written word.

My son and I walking at Countess Country Museum

But enough technical mumbo-jumbo, the second chapter continues the subversive teaching James’ elder brother, Jesus of Nazareth, had on his earthly travels. For he tackles the concept of “partiality” or within the world of Jerusalem during the revolution, the re-assertion strongly that one’s state in life had to do with blessings from God. That is that if one was rich they were beloved, if they were poor they did something. Much like some of the later canonical gospel stories would write about one with a disability– who sinned to cause this?

 My brothers,^[a] show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. ² For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, ³ and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,”⁴ have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? ⁵ Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him? ⁶ But you have dishonored the poor man. Are not the rich the ones who oppress you, and the ones who drag you into court? ⁷ Are they not the ones who blaspheme the honorable name by which you were called?

⁸ If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well. 

⁹ But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors. ¹⁰ For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become guilty of all of it. ¹¹ For he who said, “Do not commit adultery,” also said, “Do not murder.” If you do not commit adultery but do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law. ¹² So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty. ¹³ For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

-Epistle of James 2:1-13 (English Standard Version)

My son, daughter and their wonder pup walking at Countess Country Museum. No partiality or grief of the world, just kids.

Now, one could easily use this to go on a diatribe about the economic and social stratification of society. Yet there is a stronger message here for the reader. In our world, we still hold to this grief concept. The idea that if we are not the “same” as the other, then we must live in grief. We must constantly be comparing, and as such know that we are “less than”. It is poppy cock. It is the concept that is foisted on individuals and parents of individuals who are differently abled (or super heroes as my son terms him and his friends).

It is within these words, once again coming to the simple teaching we are who we are created to be. Within the beautiful diversity of our world the image of Love that is the Holy Mystery is reflected. How our world interdependently connects, cares for one another, and lives is the actualization of the holy breath of the Holy Spirit at creation.

At different points in life, different labels are put upon us to show differences and keep us separated. What is missed, is the core that is the same. The cosmic dust, the spark of life.

It is about creating a life beyond labels. Not just lip service, but actually rooting out the Gremlim-saboteur that breaks you down as “not being good enough” or “never will” to be replaced with the resounding voice within. The true affirmation of who you are, what you can do, and to repeat: WHO YOU ARE as you live out of the greatest gifts we have:

L-O-V-E.

Spirituality of Belonging

Thank you for inviting me to discuss belonging. This is a lifetime way of life for my family and me, that has left its physical, emotional and spiritual scars upon me. I was not designed for typical church. I was formed in the teachings of St. Francis and Clare of Assisi as a Franciscan, but was mentored by Basillians and Jesuits, and those that were of the social gospel, and sprung from the social gospel. The monastics, like Francis, Clare, Basil and Ignatius…they were of those that cared radically for their neighbour. Serving and learning in those communities, I was able to be apart of the radical love of neighbour that acted in such movements as the social gospel that sprung workers rights, women’s rights, that liberation theology would come from, that would have seeds in the fall of the Berlin Wall as John Paul II pushed for it, and Desmond Tutu in the end of Apartheid. The radical love I got to see in Calgary outside of the shelter system was at the community level. I speak of church families, where they realized families were staying in their church, and it struck the Holy Spirit within them…how do these neighbours shower? it struck on a Saturday, and on a Sunday the plumbers were in building the showers, and the priest was speaking as collection was to pay the plumber currently constructing…or realizing that they could not have all members of the community participate due to lack of a lift…or the food cupboard was empty…and well, let’s say collection for the church budget or the need of neighbour was a living breathing spirit.

But like the social gospel, these orders also had a strain of theology that was offensive. It was quite blatant in the late 19th and early 20th century, in Alberta as late as the 1990’s; and that being eugenics. The active belief those not seen “as typical” by society are deficient and everything has to be actively worked towards to eliminate them, or exclude them.  There is still strong pockets of this from secular and spiritual movements, most notably seen this past summer, with the United Church Observer’s supported work to ban the plastic straw, a device specifically designed for persons with certain disabilities, and without its accessibility would mean death. Most often we just see its more passive, and prejudicial form, of Ableism, most blatantly on display this past General Council with Moderator Nominee Colin Phillips, who with his form of CP uses a wheelchair and speaking aid. He stated in his column after it was a council of awkwardness, and people not engaging-my heart hears, to engage means we have to change, and adapt.

There is beauty in our heritage, but bad theology around the healings of Brother Jesus of Nazareth, has allowed Ableism and eugenics to flourish within the church by oppression or omission of the full Image of God, Imageo Dei in the Latin. And by that omission, we are missing out on the time, talent, treasures and blessings that come with the full Imageo dei. It is from reading the healing stories from the perspective of needing to be healed to belong, not realizing they are about belonging because of the beautiful rainbow of God’s creation to paraphrase Archbishop Tutu. To paraphrase Tutu again, if persons with disabilities, mental health concerns, cognitive issues, on a spectrum ala Cerebral Palsy or Autism, etc. are not in the Kingdom, then it is a kingdom I want nothing to do with.

Affirming Sunday Oct. 1, 2017 Leland putting up his colour

For the work of the Kingdom to continue in the beautiful tradition of My Neighbour, as J.S. Woodsworth wrote it, the sin of eugenics needed an exorcism. This is the work I have undertaken, in thought, word and deed. It led me through My Neighbour, to what today is being presented as the Spirituality of Belonging. Before we step into that, i just want to take a moment to thank Robert McClure Untied Church for including my family in your community for the past 18 months. We will remember C. coming and talking to Leland directly about Wonderkids, Justina teaching how Advent and Sacred Aboriginal Teachings go together, the Christmas Play, Leland’s moment at the affirming service to step out of the ableism of Christianity with his proud declaration of rainbow colour, “I won Nana”; and B’s wonderful Easter egg hunt balloons so all children could be apart of the fun. Today, you will be a part of my last teaching given in a United Church, as I stated at the beginning to get to this point has taken its toll, and the activeness of ableism and prejudices, have left me today going against my medical support teams wishes and

“I won Nana”-Leland

presenting. As I opened with, a lifetime of working to build places of belonging for all Image Bearers has taken its toll on my system, let’s just say it has been messy and the worst humanity has to offer I have witnessed. But that is why this work if so important. For this is the next step after the exorcism. This is the spirituality of belonging as the church titled my presentation which has a nice resonance. Belonging is the ickiness of life and the scariest word you will hear today.

It is the next step. But we don’t get to belonging easily, for that carries too much. I designed a simple culmination, the Belonging Pyramid.

It is inverted. The first layer being Accessibility which is the removal of physical barriers. This is the crafting or re-crafting of space so individuals can enter and use. This is the piece where community partnerships matter, money flows, Thanksgiving offerings work, and  government grants can be used.

The next step is the wonderful word most communities stop on. “Inclusion”  it is such a warm and fuzzy buzz word. But it means we got space for you.

The hardest piece, and the smallest that can create tipping and allow for the exorcism to be reversed, is belonging. it is that authentic space where you love your neighbour as yourself and the Holy. It is that space where the ickiness exists, because, you need to look at all angles before making decisions, all ripple effects, you may have to take stands for your neighbour that take your out of comfort, or safety. It is also the space where you heart recognize that one day that space will be empty…

But we do not do it alone, for the Holy Spirit of love was breathed into us at creation, and we live out of it…and the pyramid itself is balanced in Agape.

So great lecture, now let’s do the work…I encourage you to get comfortable for we are going to do liturgy…thats latin for “work of the people” via theology….

Take a moment, centre yourself. Close your eyes. Breathe in deeply, exhale releasing the burdens of the day. When you feel you have breathed all the breath out, keep going, let the joys of the day out.

Enter into this space. Breathe in and exhale deeply twice more.

You are travelling to just outside the church. At the entrance to the parking lot.

Accessibility: Read John 9: 1.

A person with blindness. You are that differently abled person. Perhaps you require a mobility device-cane, scooter, wheel chair, walker; perhaps you experience the world through the lens of mental health: anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, PTSD, and on the list can go; perhaps a global delay, or you are on one of the diagnosis spectrums ala Autism or Cerebral Palsy; perhaps it is deafness or blindness. Here you are, complete and at the gates of a new community.

You have heard there is a farmer’s market. You cannot reach it. The hill has no access for your device, so you turn away home. Or you are able to enjoy the market but need the washroom. Someone has parked a truck blocking main doors. You are directed to a curb to step over to uneven ground to a small dark door. Your left side is weak and you know you cannot lift your leg up or you are in a wheel chair. You have a choice- soil yourself to stay or go home?

You are new to the neighbourhood using a good day of energy to explore, your spouse can drive but requires accessible permit parking. You have heard good things about this church, off a Sunday you see that they use their accessible permit spots to park bobcats. Obviously, there would be no guarantee on a Sunday they would not be used likewise, time to keep looking.

There’s a community garden, you have saved money to rent a spot, but you cannot get up onto the field where the plots are or easily maneuver to your plot? Not worth the hassle, just won’t be this year.

You stir up the courage to come to church one Sunday, only to reach the door and realize that you cannot reach the door handle to enter, and no one is around. You turn around.

Some would say this is not accessibility, but it is through the eyes of the codes, for everything up to that point as not seen as “illegal”, much the way the man with blindness experienced his world.

Inclusion: Read John 9:2.

The world of labels and diagnosis was designed so we could become inclusive. In the best environment it simply shows what is necessary for someone to be brought into the circle. In the worst, it allows for different barriers to be erected under the guise of “inclusion”.

That is the question being asked by the disciples; what is wrong with this guy? What caused it?

You arrive on a Sunday, and someone opens the door for you. Obviously, you can see where the sanctuary is, but how do you know where anything else is in the church? You are non-verbal, possibly use pics or words to know directions but nothing is labelled. No directional signs to the office; or rooms; or Sunday School or youth group, does this church have a library? You heard something in the announcements about the library having an event this week?

It is soup after church. No tables, your wheel chair does not have a tray, how do you balance? Or perhaps you have weakness in your hands? Seeing the heavy table to be brought out you don’t want to be a bother to ask.

Sadly during service you had an accident and now the fabric chair is ruined, but you don’t want to be yelled at again.

You or a parent/caregiver have been overstimulated due to the noise level of service or something else. You seek a quite space. Can’t use the nursery not a baby, and too much stimulation going by the Wonder Kids. Try any doors to find them all locked. Can’t calm yourself in the lobby. Time to go home, as usual even the tools you have you cannot use because locked doors are more important, but you are included as the building let you be “included”.

Communion Sunday, a holy time when all are to come forward and partake of the “Lord’s Supper”. But you cannot eat. You are not part of the Lord’s Supper or the family table, at least you are included.

People come to talk to you, nope, they are talking to those with you about you because… there is something different, or as disciples said, what is wrong with that person? What label can be put on them?

You decide to reach out and be included in small groups. Some do not understand that not everyone in your house drives so always doing things the way you have always done them means exclusion. You struggle one winter night to come out to learning circle, it is a rough night for your physical self. Church is low lit and you almost trip over the chair blocking the hallway with the “silence sign” on it. Or you can’t get around it with your wheel chair—so you go home.

Membership classes are offered…nothing on ages for membership. Nothing on child care. Your family can then not join together as one would have to come one year and the other next, for financially it is not there to afford child care for the weekend. But you have a seat in a sanctuary on Sunday morning.

A service on different prayer practices. Stations set up, cannot maneuvor a mobility device around to get to each, so sit silently and hope no one notices you.

Feedback on sound system that can trigger convulsive brain activity or flashbacks from trauma.

Exceptionally loud music compared to speaking that can overstimulate a mind that is not neuro-typical.

There’s a youth group. Nothing about ages or when it is or who to connect with. You may fit but are afraid of rejection because so many churches before have told you you do not belong.

But like the blind man of the story, or women of the time, you are allowed to come hear about the Holy, just not be in the whole presence of. But you are included.

Belonging: Read John 9: 3

There are those that have shared the journey, that share grieving, and celebrate life together. There is a rhythm on the “way things have always been done” so if you have always been here, much like the disciples, you got the norms of the place and time. Jesus looks at you and does not see the labels, the diagnosis, the worldly prognosis; or whatever other b.s. (belief system or the farm term if you prefer) the world puts on you.

Jesus flips it to the heart of the matter. You are here to shine through the glory of God.

Genesis 1:27-28 (read it) the Holy Breath is within you. You are created just the way you are meant to be, in a perfect reflection of God.

It was Jesus pointing to the world and going, YOU BELONG because YOU ARE. Any healing done after that was because of how dull the hearers were and the risk they were placing a child of God’s life at due to their ignorance.

But as you rhythmically breathe back into the now of your community. Breathe in the Command Jesus gave us. Love. Breathe it in deeply, breathe it out deeply.

Do this three times, and rest in the presence of Love. Or Agape as it was termed.

Rest in that Agape, and when you are ready come back.

(Once all are back).

It is fairly simple, we can discuss accessibility, we can discuss inclusion. Those things already happen, I took you through the eyes of the one experiencing what is. The physical building can be as pretty as one wants it to be. Universally designed as much as we want it to be and is able for a 30ish year old property. We can have someone open the door or prop it open so everyone can come claim their seat on a Sunday. We can attain everything up to code and function so the circle is drawn wide for inclusion.

BUT, and this is a big but. If we are still the disciples pointing and asking the question, or not making eye contact…we are having adventures in missing the point. The point is belonging. Authentic longing, based on the love Jesus showed in this story. The scary thing of belonging especially within the differently-abled/persons with disabilities/mental health/medically complex (let them pick their descriptor) is that there may be no warning and suddenly…

Their spot is empty. That is why we create barriers and labels. You have now experienced different perspective, the thoughts on building agape belonging is upon you or remain in the status quo.

 

Within your groups take a moment to pause and reflect:

 

1. What did your heart hear in this experience?

1. Where does that feeling reveal you to be within the pyramid?

 

Accountability: 

Consider, what you can do to create a spirituality of belonging this week. One little step within your own community. Share with your group, and come back and share next week with them how it went.

Children’s Time

You Are, You Belong

Our stories start with a beautiful poem of Great Creator making all. It speaks to us that when each of us was created it was in their image, and breathed into with blessing. Today, I am going to let you meet one of Creator’s images and blessings.

Start with the last page: I am Helen Keller, I won’t let anything stop me.

Helen was born both deaf and blind, if you cover your ears and close your eyes, that was how she knew her world. Her own relatives believed her to be a monster. Yet she didn’t stop wanting to let the world know the love she had inside. Her family, her tutor helped her discover how to communicate in her own way. She would go on to shatter her world’s old way of seeing things.

What are ways your family or friends have helped you?

Helen learned to communicate through signs, by being shown through touch.

She realized people needed help. She fed the hungry, grew schools to help those who were told they couldn’t to learn.

What is one thing you can do to make your school or home or church more welcoming?

Read the last few pages…

Closing prayer: Thank you Creator for the wonderfulness of difference, that each of us is lovingly blessed to be who we are meant and created to be. Amen.

It’s a Mystery

The Red Herrings of life. Those rabbit trails we follow, not because they aid us in discovery of who we are or what we are meant to do, but they offer what appears to be a shortcut to the solution. They can aid us in avoiding the powerful questions of life.

Me: Columbo’s a brilliant detective people don’t take seriously cause of how he dresses and acts.
Daughter: So like you Daddy.

-Facebook post on Convo of August 15, 2018 explaining Columbo to my kid

It is the lesson learned if one is a student or fan of the mystery. From suspense (ala original Saw movie or Alfred Hitchcock) to the police procedural (Law & order; Criminal Minds; Ironside; Precient 83) to hardboiled detective (Mike Hammer; Sledge Hammer; Spenser & Hawk) or character driven (Jesse Stone, Alex Delaware, Harry Bosch, Sunny Randall) to the cozy (Murder, She Wrote; Diagnosis Murder; Perry Mason; Columbo) to spies (Jack Ryan; Jack Reacher; Bond-James Bond), the British (or deductive/inductive) of Miss Marple; Poirot; Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson, Broadchurch or DI Rebus; (anything by Minette Walters) or due to translation the emerging Nordic…there is something about a puzzle.

Whether it is a heist, a cover-up; saving the world; nefarious evil or just simple murder it is the winding path of discovery laid out before us. Some literary historians put forward Poe’s Purloined Letter as the first modern mystery, if you want that small of scope I can say sure. But it misses the point in the breadth and depth of the genre. What is Shakespeare’s Hamlet if not the mystery of character driven discovery (ala Jesse Stone) and ending a cover-up (like a spy novel) or ancient myths with Pandora’s Box; Prometheus and Fire; Cain & Abel or the story of Tamar.

Each a mystery.

Each having rabbit trails even when the truth can be there if you just look deeply for the facts. Those facts are not simply just data points, coding, or other labels. Those facts are the intangibles of the character of the person, the soft-squishy skills of being human. As well, as the question of what intrinsic worth- what drives the person. For in everyone’s story they believe they are the hero.

The question the mystery genre brings forward for us is a bit deeper if we wish it to be. Are we truly the hero of our story, or simply followed the false leads and red herrings? That is, are we authentically who we are created to be? Or have we become what others have led us to be?

Life, it is a mystery.

Will you accept the challenge of solving the puzzle of Y-O-U.

600 A (Dis)Comfort with dying

I have been blessed in my 21 years of ministry to be involved in many great blessings. From blessing civil weddings; watching equality rights flourish; acceptance and belonging in spots for all people; breaking bread at a potluck; public prayers and laments; fun sing-a-longs; Serving the Eucharist; hearing one’s Truth and Reconciliation journey; anointing; affirming calls…teaching, speaking and preaching on all manner of topics from a holistic perspective, being apart of creating sacred and sanctuary space or more simply, home, for community and individuals… and yes all this across a myriad of spiritualities and philosophies.

Ashes to Ashes

Dust to Dust.

-Anglican BCP Funeral Liturgy excerpt

Yet, one thing is an outlier. Grief and change. We do not want to grieve. For we equate grieving with death.

Yes, grieving is a part of death.

But grieving is also apart of change. Minor or major dependent on the change (transition) within our lived lives. It is why recovery of any can, is challenging, for there is a transitional change and we mourn what is now, and have trepidation for what is to be born.

Much the same, in the 600 journeys I have had the sacramental (sacred) privilege with family, friends, clients, neighbours, and congregants in journeying with to what lies in the next life.

The great unknown.

One thing I have always stood in when it comes to grieving and loss of life in this world, is know what you believe. Be open to learning and discovery. Those two pieces are invaluable before entering into any kind of human service, for they will not teach it in a text book, it is an experiential discovery that has sidelined many a vocation earlier than necessary.

It became a discomfortable expertise, but a comfort in my own belief system and aiding someone in discovering/affirming their own beliefs whether it be in healing from their own grief, or becoming comfortable with their own transition. Also being able to sit in the silence, with the tears that heal, and know that sometimes, there is no pat “holy answer” (despite what every religion, spirituality and philosophy of life tries to peddle to you) and that it beyond acceptable and okay in life. I never knew 21 years ago cracking open an old King James family Bible to teach some Junior high youth that one of my sacramental expertise’s would become the funeral liturgy, and the journey of grief.

What I do know for sure:

I have no clue what comes next from this life, and that is okay.

I do not know why children die, in fact it is kind of a universal dick move.

But I do know the great cosmic story, and the greatest thing is love. From that breath of love is the source of the cosmic dust we share with all of creation. We are birthed into this world…and when we pass away from this world and our physical body returns to the elements…

The soul cosmic born of love, returns to the eternal river that is love.

The journey of life is simple, live the love your were born from.

Some Listening:

Kenny Chesney “Get Along” video here.

Luke Bryan “Most People are Good” video here.