Posts Tagged ‘Children’


One gets a perspective on the world when they are engaged working with those without voice to discover voice. Whether it is a certain population, community, spiritualist, sectarian or political movement… or a child. It is the little moments when kindess can be modeled and taught. It is a proven fact cited by many sources and many times over (learned while a mentor with the Alberta Mentor Foundation for Youth; and re-integration mentor with Calgary Young Offender’s Centre) that an adult committing 1 hour a week minimum in a positive way into a child/adolescent’s life can change that life for the better.

Yet too often as adults we drop the ball horribly. I am not yearning for yesteryear, but publicly there was accepted behaviours, privately–well I am glad the roof has been blown off the private abuse. BUT we still need to understand what it means to be, well, human and to be a good citizen. This is the investment, the colloquially it takes a village, for we all need to participate. Unfortunately the extremism of Right/Left political spectrum helicopter parenting/parents-rights movements have shattered this ability.

What am I speaking of?

We no longer understand the simplicity. And as a community will no longer call out and hold accountable bad behaviour, but rather will seek the most expedient method responsible for ending conflict, even (and usually does) mean removing the voice of the bullied.

If we can’t understand yes means yes, no means no in sharing toys of snacks…

In schools we tackle the “no sharing rule” or the “only sharing with those that you play with outside of school. Yet we do not address the harassment that comes with “No” for the person who brings the snack and maybe does not want to share with someone. It is the movement of independent rights, separated completely from interdependent responsibility.  Reaction is to cancel sharing, or to allow harrassment to continue until the resolution is for the afflicted to give in, or simply feel so scared not to bring something to school as a snack.

This is seen in play groups, when my child would start playing with something, and another child would want it and demand they share. Parents would say our child was mean when they would continue playing until done, then pass on. “That’s not sharing”. Yes, that is sharing, she/he did not want to play with your child, but the toy, the time was up, and passed on to the next in line. Watching your child harass the other child until they are reduced to tears or pass the toy over, or attempt to share only to have your child walk away without you saying anything teaches nothing but that the most important needs in the world are the ones of your child.

Same repeat story in the Public Libraries with technology, the card allows for x numbers of minutes for each cardholder. One child’s time is not more valuable than another, they may choose to play together (kids have a knack for finding friends adults will never see–a maybe or yes to creating a better world), but also no is a proper answer and waiting your turn is a proper answer. Child or adult harassing or shaming the one using the device is not the proper response to no or wait your turn please. Staff watching this behaviour and not interceding shows that this behaviour is acceptable and will be tolerated in public with no repercussions.

The other piece is the “teach abuser grooming behaviour for victim” where the apology is not actually acknowledging what was done was wrong (ala I am sorry you felt that way, or (insert rationale to my behaviour here) or blame the situation or purchase the “sorry you are mad at me present”.

These are behaviours in our children. If we cannot get them before adolescence to understand simple things like Yes means yes, no means no. Taking turns is sharing. You are not the only/most important individual in the world. In a community everyone has value.

HOW ARE WE TO GET THEM TO UNDERSTAND:

  1. Significant others do not owe you sex.
  2. When you ask someone out, you are not entitled to a yes…they can say no…then leave them be.
  3. Domestic violence is wrong.
  4. Emotional/verbal/spiritual harassment-abuse-manipulation is wrong
  5. Involuntary Celibates (or any other hate adjective) really is simply you are the ass no one wants to be around. It is time for self-reflection not violence (so no the van driver in Toronto and the Texas School shooter are not the victims, they are the violence bringers).

Consent is fairly simple. Yes many generations in general have struggled with it to the detriment of humanity, and harm of many persons. We are at a point in time where that needs to change, the movements have been subtle and overt to bring this change. How do I know this? Look at the resistance building to change, it is at a tipping point for a better world for our children.

The better world. That what is to be built upon the world we have for the next generation, 7 generations down.

Let old ideas melt away, new ones take root and grow fully. Learn from what is being born, and be the person.

As our village raises this generation, we need to be part of the positive tipping point.

Will you?

 

 


quote

Slide from Calgary Centre for Spiritual Living on April 10, 2016

It was new member Sunday at the Calgary Centre for Spiritual Living and as such it was centered on what the quote above speaks to—Belonging. It was only last year that the family joined, and I still remember my son, through his spastic speech speaking clearly into the microphone after quite a few tumultuous and judgmental spiritual homes for him say, “Thank you for loving me.”

This is the heart of the Sanskrit word that title’s this post, belonging; it speaks Anthropologically to the idea of Tribe, and for the type of work I do, the concept of H-O-M-E.

So as one travels through life, there are a few things that shape us.

  1. Purpose-that is vocation something that adds meaning to our lives.
  2. Belonging-that place or places where we know we fit and are loved.

That is what spiritual centres, political parties, sports teams, book clubs, the list goes on and on in the area of face to face gatherings are about. It truly is like the Cheers’ theme song from the 1980’s to go to a place where everyone knows your name.

For our walk as a species though, do we create barriers for others that halt them being able to find belonging? Being able to find Home? Purpose? just because we would rather label? Or do we open up our communities for all, and see how the jigsaw pieces fit together for a true Sangha to be created…for it takes all types to flourish as a society.

Let’s be honest, it also takes many types of tribes together to build a healthy nation.

 


Alberta Children's Hospital in Calgary, Albert...

Alberta Children’s Hospital in Calgary, Alberta. This is at the new location (as of 2006) of the hospital. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Coming to a small town near you!

This is the press release sent us, so feel free to follow up if you are in the Alberta Area!

CabinSales.ca is Playin’ 4 Keeps, in support of the Alberta Children’s Hospital Foundation!

 

With children and families as their inspiration, the Alberta Children’s Hospital is able to provide nation-leading expertise on many fronts, including Brain Health,     Childhood Cancer and Life-saving Care. Ultimately, their goal is to provide world-  class health care and enable the 82 thousand children who rely on the hospital     every year to be the first to benefit from new discoveries, treatments and cures.

How can you help Playin’ 4 Keeps?

Keep your eyes and ears open!

A specially designed, play house sized piggy bank, will be coming to your community!  Bring your spare change and  help fill this giant piggy bank.  Proceeds will help support the Alberta Children’s Hospital Foundation to ensure that  the children and families who rely on the hospital receive the best of care..

You can even enter to win the playhouse, once we get all those pennies out of it!

Playin’ 4 Keeps…watch for it in your community.

Proudly supported by Cabin Sales.ca, ACA Electric Ltd, and Countess Country Museum.

 

Wayne Ragan

President & Founder is available for comments at:

1-877-272-9886 or playin4keeps@live.com

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