Posts Tagged ‘Lifespan’


A blessing of love at Countess for the youngest,

on the day you would not awake

and the 23 day journey to come…

The fear since you stated “No more owies”

cascading through as I lifted you to the van

Was this the time?

The unwanted walk for those left behind?

Were you sipping tea at the Grand Tea Party with those that had gone before?

Unanswered questions

Prayers that fell on a deities deaf ears

As Trauma hits in the hospital

the offense of the soul is more than simply my son in distress and wondering if he will survive?

Is it Metis or Disabled on your file?

That causes the berating of questions?

Are you inbred?

Did he get into your drugs?

No, We’re a sober house.

Oh so he got into your Fentanyl.

No, ya dumb ass what do you not understand about S-O-B-E-R

Questions of the past

that no longer matter

yet they fumble about a file in the room with you

I know the revisti of pain upon you

even if they think you are not able to hear or understand

as rescue drug

after rescue drug is administered

Is it simply epilepsy?

Is it more?

Those moments you spoke of being tired of loss

Have you simply said you will not open your eyes?

In PiCU looking like a Borg…

they try to say it is stabilized base line

For they only know the you here and in the file,

not the you the world loves and loves the world,

Your Mumma shows video

of your loving curious self to prove them wrong

They see you as a person

The darkness yet to come,

not fully yet foreshadowed as they would lose the plot

of you as the super hero of this tale

Three research studies in and yet you will not wake up

BPAP comes off

You struggle to breathe on your own

an oxygen line

Sepsis

and mystery

as we move (4 days in) to a unit

bacterial pnuemonia

You still won’t awaken

Another round of push back to unit staff

about going home

As you are at baseline

NG Tube as you show some alertness

Two Student doctors

who do not see the person

push

crisis

as the feed tube comes out

nourishment

how you got your medications

refusal to do what needs to re-insert

the clock is ticking

4 attempts

14 hours

no go

they finally hear

when asked, if they do not see you as a person

because you are disabled or a metis

They saw it as hostile

I saw my boi in pain

caused by those who were to heal

4 more attempts with x-ray

clock ticking

22 hours

still nothing

new doctor

as I sit vigil

to try to ensure you do not slip away due to SUDEP

asks what can be done

A useless question

A happenstance

of a fill in the next day

Tries to say the staff sees you as a person

Shocked by the word bullocks state only actions matter now

And at hour 40 you got into radiology, live imaging, tube back in…

meds…nourishment

another lie revealed,

physio never contacted…

an order finally put in

and within hours in to see you.

The regular team tries to brush off as a minor hiccup,

only a few hours,

Another time of push back,

revealed a star pupil was the cause

could this be why the cover up?

Research study #4

on racism int he system

too many scared to speak out, my gut says simply, for fear of further lack of care

So many fun nurses and doctors

engage

laugh,

learn who you are

as you are heard, we are heard

they slow down

your system in healing, catches up

and your own super powers kick in

from bed to sitting to a walker

to walking from gym to room

to me seeing the twinkle on day 2 of this

you giggle, “gotta say hi”

and your greeters soul

walks the unit greeting staff and neighbours

No tubes

from purees to soft foods to beloved foods

Not fully at baseline

but more you than you have been for awhile

is it time to go home?

As dinner time approaches

Day 23

we enter rush hour…

home…

*The vast majority of staff we encountered on this journey saw my son as a person, and were negaged in his healing, the unfortunate piece is the few that were not, caused the largest traumas and set backs because the rest of the team would not speak up or out against them.

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Unwanted Walk 2

Posted: April 3, 2022 by Ty in Spirituality
Tags: , , , ,

Speak to freely

of wanting to be with your loved ones and buddies at the grand tea party on the other side

The struggle within that you try to share outwards

falls on many as non-verbal

for those who know and love

hear what you share and say

no more invasive pain for a little bit of change

no more owies

Your light dims, like under a bushel,

want to laugh and love

our little miracle

that machines said all those years ago

game over,

and you laughed into the void

and the Holy smiled

and the machines said life goes on

the experts stumped

what is usual

becomes the living Holy Mystery

the joy bringer

the love spreader

the one that shatters the concrete barriers

as some shared

in their cards of stories of you

As the mid-journey begins

how much time?

For that time so long ago, when Great Granny had such joy to have her great-grandbabies in church, she spent time so you could sing proud of the love you brought, and Jesus had for you.

Echoes in my soul,

as you ask

for Daddy to be the pastor

for your tea party time

and I shatter

can I be with you

at this time

as those that are to respond

see nothing wrong

when you are emotionally blue

mentally blue

physically blue

go home,

it’s safer

for a world under pandemic

you hear resoundingly from around you

are not a valid life

my joy

my light

my son,

do not go,

linger longer

laugh more

cheer more

Hockey!

play more,

For a day from 43

can I not cry into the unknown

Holistically-physically-neurologically which stroy is true?

A teenager? A middler? A senior?

How much time?

For the fun moments

Like your Ozzy sing-alongs

Mouth trumpets

high fives

hugs

As you continue to ponder joining the Great Tea Party—–

Stay a while longer

To continue to change the world

For how does a Daddy answer that which you ask?

I love you…stay while and continue the party here…

Let your light shine…


In John Shelby Spong’s 2009 book Eternal Life: A New Vision the former Bishop of Newark tackles the thoughts of lifespan development and afterlife. Within he breaks down the lifespan into approximately thirds. The first 30 years being the building; the next 30 years being and then the elder years. When you think of the Anglo-Catholic tradition this would flow out of older concepts of Christening (birth); First Eucharist; First Reconciliation(Confession); Confirmation around the ages of Bar/Bat Mitzvah;

Image may contain: 5 people, people smiling, text

My wife’s Facebook e-collage with some of my favourite things for turning 40 yesterday.

Sacrament of Marriage; Anointing of the Sick and Last Rites.

Colloquially, we have our own secular time tables. Pre-School (4 yrs old); K-6; then ages of culpability (12 years and up). That at 18 years old in Canada you become an adult Federally (19 years old in B.C.; Saskatchewan and Ontario for drinking). That is at 18 you can vote and serve in the military; smoke (cigarettes, and this fall Marijuana); and partake in gambling and alcohol. Psychologically and socially they have extended adolescence to around 24-30 years old (Biblically Jesus would have just left his childhood behind when he started his ministry). Then at 40 years old you are judged to be at midlife; and 65 years old is looked upon time of retirement and golden years.

In Spong’s theory. The time at 60 and beyond is looked upon for the new work, that which rejuvenates the soul and keeps one going. It is intriguing these thoughts come upon me. As usual our family is pilgrimaging, and listening to the still quiet voice of the Holy Mystery.  Especially as we continue the journey of discovery on my neuro-a-typicalness and what it means. As we await the new chapter in the new book.

This past Sunday, a sermon actually caused me to pause and contemplate. It has been a few years since this has happened (okay more than a few). And it must have been a good reflection because my son stayed tuned in, and did not heckle (yes he heckles when he dislikes preachers, it is quite a good barometer–yes I have been heckled by him).

The passages were wrapping up what the lectionary (a set up of reading through the whole Hebrew Bible-Christian Testament in church on Sundays over 2 or 3 years) has brought through the life of David. David is not a favourite of mine, but it was an intriguing message grown out of these two passages:

29 You, Lord, are my lamp;
    the Lord turns my darkness into light.
30 With your help I can advance against a troop[a];
    with my God I can scale a wall.

-2 Samuel 22:29-30 (New International Version)

and from Acts 12:17-23 & 36:

17 The God of the people of Israel chose our ancestors; he made the people prosper during their stay in Egypt; with mighty power he led them out of that country; 18 for about forty years he endured their conduct[a] in the wilderness; 19 and he overthrew seven nations in Canaan, giving their land to his people as their inheritance. 20 All this took about 450 years.

“After this, God gave them judges until the time of Samuel the prophet. 21 Then the people asked for a king, and he gave them Saul son of Kish, of the tribe of Benjamin, who ruled forty years. 22 After removing Saul, he made David their king. God testified concerning him: ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.’

23 “From this man’s descendants God has brought to Israel the Savior Jesus, as he promised.

-Acts 13:17-23 (New International Version)

David’s celebration of his life. His victories, his sorrows, his atrocities (rape, murder, infanticide) and jumping to the book of Acts, Paul speaking of the history of what one has been brought forth through.

What struck was Acts 13: 36:

36 “Now when David had served God’s purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep; he was buried with his ancestors and his body decayed. (New International Version).

For this is what was zeroed in on. The end of life, as this man of horror and holy was dying. He had fulfilled a purpose in the then and now.

The question put forward to us, was to move forward from the past, and live into the generation we are now. The stark reminder that even though we continue to attempt to label our generations as a barrier (Greatest, Baby Boom, X, Millenial, Z) we are all here in this generation.

Why?

Whether you are in the first third, mid-third or last third, or reached beyond…

There is a reason.

There is a purpose.

More importantly there is a passion that continues to spark and renew.

Rejuvenates.

Make new.

What is the passion that drives you today? Right now to seize the new.

This has been my humble Wisdom Keeper contemplation since Sunday, welcome to the journal.