A blessing of love at Countess for the youngest,
on the day you would not awake
and the 23 day journey to come…
The fear since you stated “No more owies”
cascading through as I lifted you to the van
Was this the time?
The unwanted walk for those left behind?
Were you sipping tea at the Grand Tea Party with those that had gone before?
Unanswered questions
Prayers that fell on a deities deaf ears
As Trauma hits in the hospital
the offense of the soul is more than simply my son in distress and wondering if he will survive?
Is it Metis or Disabled on your file?
That causes the berating of questions?
Are you inbred?
Did he get into your drugs?
No, We’re a sober house.
Oh so he got into your Fentanyl.
No, ya dumb ass what do you not understand about S-O-B-E-R
Questions of the past
that no longer matter
yet they fumble about a file in the room with you
I know the revisti of pain upon you
even if they think you are not able to hear or understand
as rescue drug
after rescue drug is administered
Is it simply epilepsy?
Is it more?
Those moments you spoke of being tired of loss
Have you simply said you will not open your eyes?
In PiCU looking like a Borg…
they try to say it is stabilized base line
For they only know the you here and in the file,
not the you the world loves and loves the world,
Your Mumma shows video
of your loving curious self to prove them wrong
They see you as a person
The darkness yet to come,
not fully yet foreshadowed as they would lose the plot
of you as the super hero of this tale
Three research studies in and yet you will not wake up
BPAP comes off
You struggle to breathe on your own
an oxygen line
Sepsis
and mystery
as we move (4 days in) to a unit
bacterial pnuemonia
You still won’t awaken
Another round of push back to unit staff
about going home
As you are at baseline
NG Tube as you show some alertness
Two Student doctors
who do not see the person
push
crisis
as the feed tube comes out
nourishment
how you got your medications
refusal to do what needs to re-insert
the clock is ticking
4 attempts
14 hours
no go
they finally hear
when asked, if they do not see you as a person
because you are disabled or a metis
They saw it as hostile
I saw my boi in pain
caused by those who were to heal
4 more attempts with x-ray
clock ticking
22 hours
still nothing
new doctor
as I sit vigil
to try to ensure you do not slip away due to SUDEP
asks what can be done
A useless question
A happenstance
of a fill in the next day
Tries to say the staff sees you as a person
Shocked by the word bullocks state only actions matter now
And at hour 40 you got into radiology, live imaging, tube back in…
meds…nourishment
another lie revealed,
physio never contacted…
an order finally put in
and within hours in to see you.
The regular team tries to brush off as a minor hiccup,
only a few hours,
Another time of push back,
revealed a star pupil was the cause
could this be why the cover up?
Research study #4
on racism int he system
too many scared to speak out, my gut says simply, for fear of further lack of care
So many fun nurses and doctors
engage
laugh,
learn who you are
as you are heard, we are heard
they slow down
your system in healing, catches up
and your own super powers kick in
from bed to sitting to a walker
to walking from gym to room
to me seeing the twinkle on day 2 of this
you giggle, “gotta say hi”
and your greeters soul
walks the unit greeting staff and neighbours
No tubes
from purees to soft foods to beloved foods
Not fully at baseline
but more you than you have been for awhile
is it time to go home?
As dinner time approaches
Day 23
we enter rush hour…
home…
*The vast majority of staff we encountered on this journey saw my son as a person, and were negaged in his healing, the unfortunate piece is the few that were not, caused the largest traumas and set backs because the rest of the team would not speak up or out against them.