Posts Tagged ‘healing’


Posted: May 16, 2019 by Ty in Soul Psalms
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6 months

180 days

Seizure free

is what they state means remission

Day 36 ticks on by

Countdown is on…

144 days to go…

long days of harder worker

Now no longer numb,

Deep dive begins

to root out the cause

of the PTSD…

the numbness that caused

the PNES

One day at a time

one hour

one minute

one second

one thought

one emotion

one memory

144 to go…


coverA stone skipping across a pond leaves ripples with each impact.

The joys and life of traumas are the like the skipping stone through the generations.

Soul Ripples

What happens when the helper needs help?

For over 20 years Ty Ragan served his neighbour from the rough camps to the shelters to home and every where’s in-between. The simple life lesson of Jesus of Nazareth to love your neighbour as yourself was the centre question to be answered in his life. In May 2016 his life would begin to change drastically through unknown seizures and strokes.

Enter into the ripples that brought him to 2016, the transformational power of love of family and friends as he seeks new ripples in hope for his soul.

Buy your copy at today.


It is weird. I have been called the nihilistic or pessimistic Christian for quite a while. Okay, since I came back to church for sociologically and anthropologically I would look at the institutional church in Canada, regardless of the denomination (or in social media speak hashtag) and see that it was dying. Either butts in the pews or depth of spiritual formation. I mean heck for me to get spiritual formation that was not offered at the local congregation level I pursued degrees from a Bible College, Seminary, and formation in a third order monastic tradition.

It was a topic of a sermon at a Youth Conference years ago I gave, Emerge, where I spoke about the life support system of the Christendom (the Christian Empire since Constantine “converted”). As there is growth within the 2/3 world, and decline in the Western World (Quebec in the 1930’s and 1940’s had their Quiet Revolution to remove the Roman Catholic Church control, this is what is happening in the rest of the Western World, and why the Church has established bulkheads ala Religious Right that fight fog issues such as Abortion and Marriage Equality instead of living the Great Commandments and the Sermon on the Mount, but that is an article for another time).

It is a time in the life of Church, where we are struggling to decide what church is? What do we offer differently from an intramural sports league, community association, book club, political party or service organization? These waters were even more muddied by the “seeker sensitive” approach of the mega-churches that became plug and play for many smaller churches. A space where we stripped away what made church different, and how to disciple for a space that was open. It created a space of accessibility and inclusion (there was a seat), but it did not create belonging for as huge numbers ebbed and flowed, none were missed. There was no roots grown.

This is the era we now sit in. See, there is a yearning for the good ol’ days, when churches were brimming full. It was the inverse of the seeker culture of the late 1990’s early 2000’s…or is it? There was a compulsion to be a part of a church and active for social and economic acceptance not because of actual belief within the tenants of faith. Both Christendom and Seeker Sensitive created a breadth with no depth, and we are still sitting on life support. As Christendom dies, and as many mega churches collapse under their own numerical success and corruptions we are left to ponder what is to be?

This is what went through my mind, as the grief cycle of Churchdom is stuck in U theory on the letting go phase, so what is to come cannot gain full traction. It was a great service of what happens when one as community lives the Great Commandments, yet the first hymn stuck in my throat and I could not sing. It was a hymn of Christendom, one that spoke of what started the cycle of falsity, and muddied the waters, and relegated key pieces of the Trinity to the sidelines. Jesus was a focal point, but only as we worshipped literally the stories of the Hebrew Bible and Christian Testament, yet the shift was more to power and money with these as mere illusions. It is where one ponders if God is alive, and as many scholars have begun to write, we have sidelined the Holy Spirit. That’s right, whether you are charismatic or not within the Western Context, we have confined the Holy Breath to check boxes of what is “appropriate”, we no longer live into the Holy Mystery and blessing of creation.

So what hymn stuck and struck? Onward Christian Soldiers it is a war hymn, and as music is used to teach throughout the years concepts. It teaches the concept of Christendom, that we are meant to conquer and control, be a new Empire. Not be subversive, healing, and transfiguring of a world. It is one example, the chorus culture has created pop light love songs that do not allow believers to actually feel a full gambit of emotions, both cultures have created a Learned Helplessness for church goers and members.

What does that mean? If you do not believe Christendom should reign, and tack on to all the lightning button fog issues then you are not a believer. For the seeker culture, if you are not continuously happy and blessing seeing you lack faith, for it is the little faith that leaves you with other emotions. It removes the assertive voice of the created one blessed by the Holy Mystery. Both remove the blessing of the fully created soul and person in the Imageo Dei. To be included, you must adhere to the decrees of the church and if you do not function within that realm of belief, then you are truly not saved.

Let that sit for a minute, and then I ask you,

Why is the church dying?

It is because we have truly lost our path, corrupted by the things of Caesar as Brother Jesus would say, and then corrupted by not following through on living life together. We chase simple plug and play solutions that treats humanity like a computer code. That is we function as an institution, and when it does not work we are at a loss.

When being a belonging community for all, is a messy endeavour.

How today, are you being messy and creating belonging?

3 questions

Posted: April 28, 2019 by Ty in Soul Psalms
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On the healing journey, it is like peeling an onion, never able to be constantly positive, and fresh eyes for one’s own history…the journey continues.

It first started asking

how many times have you hit your head?

To morphing along the path,

once narrowed to healing,

to a simple query of…

“how are you still alive?”

Renewing feelings long shut out

becoming complete of heart

soul, mind, and body

in touch

and exploring

deep diving into the memories

the body deems safe to explore

covering horrors most will never speak of…

simple things in ministry, writing and helping others

“Do the thing you do”

“Just one more miracle”

A miracle worker

some dubbed Cain, like an old television show

creating space

assertive advocate

speaking many times into the void

left to twist in the wind

no money for it

no cause for more staff

they do not fit our ideology-belief not allowed

want one more qualified

code for we want someone that will work for

pennies, and do what we say

not what those served strive for

removal of the advocates voice

heart and passion

learned to be helpless

assertiveness can become screaming

into the void


the body and soul

say no more

and a life almost lost…

the long road back…

who is coming back?

What is left behind?

The question ringing in the soul,

Did they honestly think I was Superman?




Further reflections on a Leadership Summit within the Stone-Campbell movement, and understanding the Spirit within.

Always pondered

why I felt unmoved or

a round peg breaking into a triangle hole

Not understanding

the self-selection of religious groups

Spiritual not religious types perpetuate

their own exclusionary criterion

One risk taken

to attend a summit centered on being Shaken by the Spirit

C. Leonard Allen speaks of grammar of the Spirit

the piece of the Trinity forgotten not the right word

rather locked away in Sola Scriptura

only active within old old stories

or new charismatics tied to literal understandings

Missing the point or the mark

For it is within the Spirit,

that Church is family

that community is birthed


In the Spirit

when people matter more than money

programs are secondary

to an open

welcoming table

for all…

The Spirit

living in and out of Love

I always wondered why

I felt on the outside of the religion

I loved so much…

and the answer was simpler,

than I ever believed…

I let the Spirit break through my present

and future

to shape my heart.


Posted: April 11, 2019 by Ty in Soul Psalms
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A Psalm of journeying into the healing of empowerment in one’s life. A slight emergence out of the darkness.


A new heart is emerging

up through the shards of the old

rose bowl

sludge is burning away

not just being mopped up

to spill once more

Care and advocacy

beyond others

to encounter one’s own soul

and holistic being

Light of possibility

Cracking the concrete

green embers

peeking through

the crackling darkness

solid stone

of the sarcophagus of pain




Like an old CD player on a favourite song




Posted: March 28, 2019 by Ty in Soul Psalms
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When one reflects upon what could be a speed bump in the healing journey, or a rabbit trail back into the darkness that is security of the pain.


such a nicer word than relapse

Going along in life

feeling good

Two weeks

Fatigue sure

head fog? Ayup

Weepiness? forsure

Flashbacks? Unfortunately

Yet the seizure was absent


curve ball from left

innocuous e-mail

trigger cascade of memories

instead of tears

Mind protect




Begin again…

You will not win…

The word that rings in my mind rhymes with “Duck” and ends with You!

Star Trek is always at its best when posing tough questions to answer. Star Trek Deep Space Nine was a series that tackled politics, religion, bio-ethics, and war quite in your face. It wrestled with grieving, PTSD, mental health, and shell shock. It showed the stark contrasts needed for Truth and Reconciliation for the Bajoran people and their planet when the Cardassian occupation ended, and the Federation led by then Commander Benjamin Sisko came to the formerly Cardassian space station Terok Nor (renamed Deep Space Nine) to aid the healing and rebuilding process.

Sisko who would become the Emissary in the Bajoran religion. The wormhole that opened between the Alpha and Gamma Quadrants that the Bajoran people saw as the Celestial Temple in their faith, and the shape shifting aliens existing within as their Prophets. But I digress from my theological geek ways, to focus on another tale that is tackled well within Deep Space Nine.

David R. George III (2017) The Long Mirage brings forward an intriguing question. Especially with the rise of hate filled populism thinly veiled in religious language today in our world. The original DS( has been destroyed and replaced with a shiny new Federation station. A Bajoran Federation officer is now Captain, Ro Laren, and she is sweet on Quark (the Ferengi Ambassador, former barkeep on DS9 and hub of creative financial opportunities). They are searching for a missing patron of the station.  Kira Nerys, former first officer, is now on a spiritual quest that has taken her through time and space literally at the will of the Prophets. She has seen and learned things that may be a benefit to some factions in new Bajor.

What as a believer do you do with what you have learned? She is caught between the Federation rules of silence on time travel, her religions free will on disclosure, and those who want to use the faith of the people as a political tool.

Then Quark and Ro find Morn (the patron) and he is caught with illegal holograph technology…. Why?

Vic Fontaine.

Image result for vic fontaineTrapped in a program buffer since the original station was destroyed. The holodeck program has had some glitches, and Easter Eggs that have put Fontaine’s life at risk. So what you say, hit reset and carry on. Only Fontaine’s 1940’s era Vegas casino and act has been a place of community building, healing, and sanctuary for many on DS9. Quark’s nephew, Nog, when as a cadet lost a leg in the Dominion War lost himself in the world and Fontaine became his therapist to work through the PTSD and Shell Shock.

The core question raised throughout the caper narrative,

is one as old as time,

What makes a friend? A member of the family?

And the core question, is Fontaine a sentient being (person) or not?

Enjoy the read, and wrestling through the questions.