Posts Tagged ‘New Life’


Ah, a bit of a trekkie-spiritual moment, just wrapped up Una McCormack’s Autobiograpy of Mr. Spock, presented through the writings of Spock sharing with Jean-Luc Picard upto and including what his life has been to the Jellyfish that kicked off the new movies universe as he was lost in the multi-verse. It is a t’san a’lat if you like Vulcan, the book of the writer’s wisdom. What has been learned throughout the life lived, I ponder what each of our stories if shared as our wisdom, and gifted to a particular co-journeyer, as our journey came to a close would percolate in our communities?

See the source image

Brother Jesus lived out around me,

Brother Jesus live out by me,

Brother Jesus within me.

(After Communion Prayer with the physical making of the cross)

We have been in pandemic mode via physical distancing (some in quarantine depending on symptomology, exposure or high risk of contraction) for four months now in Calgary, AB. It is a time of anxiety, reflection, work, discovering new resiliencies and strengths, needing to humble one self and move into the aid available through professional circles of support.

Though it also raises more questions, what is going to happen? Is the economic re-opening working? Will schools re-open in the Fall? Is it possible? Why does the government so hate educating our children that they keep changing the formula per student to reduce funding? And not being willing to provide extra funding for the measures proposed by AHS? Why would anxiety exist within this time?

It is also a time of spiritual rumination. Is this a time of discovery? As one travels through the Psalms, it becomes apparent that times like these The Holy Mystery uses to aid us in discernment, understanding, and discovery. Yet, for anyone (like our household) who has spent time on the journey of chronic conditions, this is a time when we can look at this type of teaching and go…yeah, but I do wish God would use another method for us to come into the presence.

There is, but as our world shows, this time has ripped off the veil–the band aid— and exposed the societal dualism we have sunk in to. Dualism? The developmental stage according to Erikson we are supposed to have successfully overcome in emergent adulthood, circa 18-22 years of age. And yet, here we are, en masse in this media/social media debacle.

A familiar meme on social media re-purposed to explain dualism

The idea that one side has to be accepted whether it is true or not, is a debating fallacy. As well, the concept that within dualism one side has to be completely evil for our viewpoint/opinion to be completely good and valid. What happens is an inability to critically think, to unpack and discourse. It is a world that’s stage was set at the end of World War II and the emergence of the Cold War, where capitalism or communism had to be completely true in this ideological battle. Note any other emergent ideological battles?

In Canada recently it is the shock and horror that a) we have Nazi monuments and b) that for some reason vandalizing them is a hate crime. Uhm no. Nazi’s were the epitome of the rising fascism, anti-Semitism, before the Second World War, the war should have ended the movement. Sadly, through the continuation of white supremacy and neo-Nazism we have seen it continue, though at times outside of the last four years, being knocked back to the shadows and routed.

What does this monument show us? A dark history that needs to be exorcised. Questions around who approved, where are others in our nation? Yes, Ukraine was taken over by the Nazi’s, some were taken in at gun point and then ideologically converted, others joined gleefully as they saw a divine mission by Hitler’s regime. Either way, the core is still the same, whether you are a Humanist or Christian (or anything in-betwixt)– Nazi’s are bad, and should not be honoured, remembered or celebrated. It is almost like a real time story of the Last Supper, where these communities and monuments are our own Judas Goat, now exposed to the light will we let the darkness continue?

These are the challenges ahead as we move through reconciliation, Black Lives Matter, Universal Basic Income…these are the calls to transfiguration for our society during c-tine. A time to allow the dualistic thinking that has allowed for oppressive-racist-misogynic-dominionism structures to be imposed upon the people, and to reclaim the heart of love, inter-connectedness and hope for our world.

As we move into month five, where are you taking your journey–

Further into the darkness,

Or into the Light of Life?


Yes it is Latin. Domine dirige Nos translated means Lord, direct us. What does this have to do with my journey? Well, for those who have been reading along recently, I have closed one book of the trilogy (writer to stipulate a longer ongoing) of my life, and have written the epilogue, and stepped firmly into the prologue of the next book with my family.

The new journey is bright and beautiful. As I write these words I reflect on the conclusion interruptus to my journey with the Franciscans. Shy of life vows with the Third Order, but what a blessing the choice to leave the Anglican Communion was at that time in my life. My kids got to be blessed by their Granny (my Nan) and some loving adoptive grandpas and grandmas at the church before it all soured due to a few of the money mongers of that United Church (ironically enough whose initials are FU) who could not see the blessed beauty in the children with disabilities our church had been blessed with for Sunday School and youth. But they could not rob the Sunday tradition born of being with Granny for tea, and shenanigans even when she went into the locked facility with her dementia, until she went to the grand tea party in the sky (and the day after when my daughter all of 5 said she had flown down in a plane to tell her she loved her and to play with her).

But ten years out, and emerging into the new me, reflecting on what kept me healthy, and in tune it kept coming around to belonging within those called to the religious life in family and community. So the hunt began for an order that would take one, truly a ragamuffin of monastics and Christianities, to whence the lovely Google stumbled me upon The Order of Saint Andrew: An Anglican Ecumenical Order and the associate (Third Order) became my road to completion, and a new paragraph within the prologue of my new book of the journey of Ty.

It is also intriguing for the Saint it is named after, and the point of the new path my life is seeking:

18 Jesus was walking by the Sea of Galilee. He saw two brothers. They were Simon (his other name was Peter) and Andrew, his brother. They were putting a net into the sea for they were fishermen. 19 Jesus said to them, “Follow Me. I will make you fish for men!” 20 At once they left their nets and followed Him.

-Matthew 4:18-19 (New Life Version)

Without even a thought, he heard the call, and followed. Hence the Latin and what it means at this point in my life, Lord, Direct me to where I am to serve next.

For my family, it is having spent time travelling 90 minutes outside of Calgary to church the last little bit. Due to health, finances and weather (it is the prairies with early onset winter), not being able to keep up the commitment. Yet, in the journey of discovery and letting the Spirit flow (everything happens for a reason)…seeing what actually can happen within a church, and a community, when prayer is followed by faithful action not reticent fear or worry over money… a clear flowing of the presence of God as my wife phrased it is what we experienced in the Vulcan Church of Christ  , an experience for a place we still resonate and feel connected yet know it is more of visitor than home. But in the being, discovering the sacred courageous space to hear the still quiet voice of the Holy Spirit.

To set out anew to discover who I am meant to be, who my family is called to be… and knowing that at some point soon there will be work to craft a youth conference that embraces the loving, blessed and very good diversity that is the Imageo Dei so the youth of our city or wherever God takes us, will have the sacred courageous space to truly become who they are meant to be.

Yet, it is the still of the night, and I continue the search for the new.


There is ancient Celtic myths around Leprechauns and their gold. Modern cerealogy tells us that luck is in charms. Meanwhile the sanitized celebration for a genocidal maniac, St. Patrick’s Day has us dying things green, and talking about chasing rainbows to their tails anchored in pots of gold.

Rainbows.

“I hate colour.” Lee Jacobs said. All he wanted was a deep sleep, the kind where you awake well rested and do not recall your dreams. What he got instead was  a mystical experience from a super-hero and a former mayor with their kids that many presumed missing, assumed dead.

“Mr. Jacobs, this is Camelot.” one of the children said. His mother hugged him and her sister close.

“What is left of Camelot. It is a pocketverse in the multi-verse.” Susan Kobwash said. Former mayor, adventurer with the Great Crime Fighters, and wife to Rick Saturn, the (original) Bionic Knight. “There is some literal truth in each myth or legend that goes with the eternal truth.”

Lee scratched his head, looking at the man in the golden armour, with the balding head. More salt that pepper in his beard as he locked tired eyes with Jacobs. What Lee had seen before entering the rainbow of the man with tremors was no more, just weary with some tears in his eyes. “Bionic Knight?”

“Not anymore. I hold the PenDragon magic, but Beth Venus is the new Bionic Knight of earth.” Rick said. Lee nodded, it already confirmed a heavy suspicion he had about the young lady, and gave him some pride that she had heard his words about battling hate without super powers that she would return to him in her secret identity to continue the fight. “I’m simply Rick.”

Lee nodded, as Rick and Susan went on to share what brought them to Camelot at the end of the Rainbow bridge. The piece of the multi-verse between all the other realms. What ancient philosophers, mystics and theologians had termed such as Hades, Purgatory or Limbo…a place of nowhere and everywhere all at once. They had been healing from the psychogenic non-epileptic seizures and chronic pain the decades of heroics had brought into Rick’s system as a result of his a-typical Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Susan and the kids had chosen to come to Camelot, much like the Fantastic Four was a family that shared adventures, so they chose to share adventures. Healing of all the traumas and vicarious traumas were on the board.

“So this is some mystical Big TOE type Post Traumatic Growth?” Lee said. (writer’s note: Big TOE is a metaphysical-quantum physics terminology for Big Theory of Everything).

(Also writer’s note Post Traumatic Growth, also known as PTG, is the phase of life after healing through PTSD where one can be known to come into a spiritual awakening).

Rick smirked.

“Yes, we are moving through the pain and the hurt to the new reality. The four of us are Camelot, and enjoying exploring all the other realities and the relationships that are we are coming into.” Susan said.

“Wait, you are Camelot?” Lee quizzled.

“Yes, the last of the PenDragon energy has allowed us to become Camelot that which was thought destroyed with my friend John MacCurtis when he stopped the evil alien god, Thor. We can slide through dimensions and universes using the Rainbow. We are finally home and at peace.” Rick said.

Lee got the hint behind it. Everyone kept talking about the “real” Bionic Knight returning to put things right. To save the world once more. Rick was closing that door, and he brought it to… “Why me?”

“Lee, I have grown up with you, seen what you do, and know people listen to you. Take the message home that we are no more, let the nation grieve and heal. Let them accept the new.” Rick said. He extended his hand. Lee shook it. “The Great Crime Fighters are yours. A new team, a new family if you will for old threats, but the wisdom beats in your heart.”

“Wait…I…”

The colours vanished.

The trailer’s laminate was all to real as Lee bounced his face off of it having fallen off the couch. Not really how he enjoyed mystical experiences ending, though it wasn’t like he had a lot of experience with them.

The sermon for Sunday was in his heart now. He clicked open his phone and dialed MLA Moon, here’s hoping with the election call looming she may still be able to swing a feed of the Sunday message to bring out the good grieving a country, a province, a city needed to embrace the new.

Meanwhile…

Louie Regis, former agent of Canada’s Supra Agency, who wrestles with his own typical PTSD that results in flashbacks, depression and anxiety spells. Today was a good day. He hadn’t had many before retirement, or since he had this feeling to track down MacKay to only discover his old friend dead, and a new batch of yahoos playing hero.

Regis finished what was left of his beer in the run down bar. His trusty snub nose .38 still in a shoulder holster under his rumpled suit. It was a controlled fire arm, and he was not supposed to be carrying it. But Louie had seen, and been involved with enough things to know the necessity of protection in a weird world.

Sliding from the stool, his worn loafers stuck a little to the pitty plank wood as he moved to the stain glass door and stepped out into the night air. Funny enough an avowed atheist, that he was off to church the next morning to hear what the big deal was with this Father Lee Jacobs, and the importance of rebuilding some parish always on financial life support (St. Jude’s).

The six beers were not sitting so well with him with the crisp night air, and light fog as he walked down the road to sleep it off in old hatch back. He had grown accustomed to sleeping in his agent days and as such when travelling never bothered with hotels or motels. Louie just cleaned up at truck stops.

“Loouiee!”

Regis turned to his name…

The arrow sliced through his left eye and out the back of this head sending brain and bone pieces…

 


The first letter to the Thessalonika closes and many are still thinking rapture time from the words Paul writes. It especially can be come a sacremental battle ground over those that practice infant baptism-christening-confirmation vs. believer (adulting) baptism. Trust me, I know that one where due to my infant baptism an Alliance Church wanted me dunked in their rites to serve…sorry mate doesn’t work that way. Anywho. What is seen though in the words from Paul’s quill is an allegory of the struggle within to emerge from darkness. Darkness created within self by gremlins-saboteurs, illness (of any stripe), outside forces, or societal castes. It is the struggle first to discover the divine, your own inherent worth, to be able to let the light spark, and then shine.

It is these moments I ponder my own journey back to the structured church 21 years ago. I was always a sojourner of the spiritual, but it was a dark heart time for me. It would be the sixth time I chose to attempt to end my life. I was putting my things in order at 19 years old. Getting rid of things. Ensuring that what I thought mattered was done.

Now concerning the times and the seasons, brothers,[a] you have no need to have anything written to you. For you yourselves are fully aware that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, “There is peace and security,” then sudden destruction will come upon them as labor pains come upon a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. But you are not in darkness, brothers, for that day to surprise you like a thief. For you are all children[b] of light, children of the day. We are not of the night or of the darkness. So then let us not sleep, as others do, but let us keep awake and be sober. For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk, are drunk at night. But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and for a helmet the hope of salvation. For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, 10 who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with him. 11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

-Epistle of 1 Thessalonians 5:1-11 (English Standard Version)

It was in the mess cleaning that the broken Gideon’s New Testament I was given in Grade 5 I found with the spine broken. The Universe speaking, the Holy Mystery guiding as the words of red where the spine broke spoke to my heart. Reminding me what was important in life. What had shaped my life journeys to that point:

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

It caused a pause. I had been in churches before and made to feel unwelcome. But I knew a place I was always welcome, and since my Granddad had passed away 3 years earlier, my Nan had returned to a church. I arranged an ancient (ok forever tradition) of spending a weekend with my Nan, and going to church…seeking healing with those you love. Who know how you should love yourself.

The spark that is covered.

Becoming revealed.

We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, 13 and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves.14 And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle,[c] encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. 15 See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 19 Do not quench the Spirit. 20 Do not despise prophecies, 21 but test everything; hold fast what is good. 22 Abstain from every form of evil.

23 Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24 He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.

25 Brothers, pray for us.

26 Greet all the brothers with a holy kiss.

27 I put you under oath before the Lord to have this letter read to all the brothers.

28 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

-Epistle of 1 Thessalonians 5:12-28 (English Standard Version)

You may never know that you should love yourself. But hopefully there are those in your life that come through that show you love, so you can love yourself. Aid in your journey to break the negative soundtrack and become who you are. Live into the life giving story of your life, the sacred teaching that causes enlightenment and illumination.

Why?

Simple pleasures…If I had not taken that step…I would not be sitting here singing Christmas Carols with my children; watching Norad Santa. Celebrating my daughter and my son as they spread Christmas cheer– he with Christmas sweater contests with his elders and his joyful “ho, ho, ho”-living his sacred truth, her in her quiet confidence speaking her truth- opening Christmas Pageants, MCing Winter Solstice-teaching her sacred truth.

We are on the eve of celebrating the birth of light…

will you let it spark yours?

Image may contain: one or more people and text

Pinned post from Centennial Presbyterian Facebook Page, how a light can spark.


There are certain things I can recommend about loving your neighbour as a monastic mendicant (the term mendicant means open hand, it was a slur used against Franciscans).  I can recommend the joy and love that comes with simplicity and community. I can recommend being able to discourse and dialogue with those across different belief systems. Aiding those in need to come to their holistic being. Discovering hope anew each day.

I cannot recommend some of the outcomes the journey of life brings, especially after a night where one awakes feeling like you have just lost five boxing matches in a row. I cannot recommend moments of a needle stick. Knives being pulled. Life being threatened. Being on anti-retrovirals at one point many moons ago due to being bit and skin broke. Yet these moments of not recommending come from the brokenness of life when hope fades for the person:

Finally, then, brothers,[a] we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification:[b] that you abstain from sexual immorality;that each one of you know how to control his own body[c] in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.

Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another,10 for that indeed is what you are doing to all the brothers throughout Macedonia. But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more, 11 and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, 12 so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.

-Epistle of 1 Thessalonians 4:1-12 (English Standard Version)

In the mid-first century Paul understood the root of addiction and lack of impulse control. It was not a morality play of legalism, but pointing out that there was something missing for the person. In a world where everyone had their place, they were either in or out, a citizen or property. Paul was writing about something different. A place where all belong.

See there are many roots to pain, suffering. Roots that one tries to cover up with short term pleasure or relief. In choices that in the end can be seen as self-harm. Survival behaviours that still exist today. For what has become of temple prostitution but not sex trafficking? Addiction is the searching for relief. It is the lack of place. It is not being seen for inherent worth. It is truly not being seen as neighbour, but as a number or a commodity so society can easily say it is okay to throw you away.

It is the root of stigmas still around illness and mental illness. I do not want to share how many have walked away from my family and I during the last few years due to my own health concerns. Why? It is messy. It is hard to see beyond a diagnostic label to the person that is still the same soul.

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.14 For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. 15 For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord,[d] that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord.18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.

-Epistle of 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 (English Standard Version)

A written letter encouraging the renewal of hope and love. Embracing of the divine in self and neighbour. What do we do? We drill down and weaponize passages that continue to ostracize, shun, remove belonging. The concept of “Rapture” culture has flown and is a heresy. It is a black and white choice from words of an allegorists. It gives the drive for “personal salvation” as the be all and end all of the faith journey. Breaks down the great disciple making, renewing of the community and world to nothing more than a formulaic “Sinner’s Prayer” at an altar call.

But this isn’t about some bad science fiction where clothes are left behind as bodies vanish of the “true believers”. No, Paul is writing about something deeper for those who struggle with belonging. For it is in the Holy Mystery, when our soul palace has been renewed. As we come into wholeness, that we come into a deeper understanding of who we truly are. The Shadows and pains are stripped away, we are doing the work for healing. We are choosing new life. New relationships. New coping tools. We are a new being.

The symbolism of Baptism is going into a tomb and coming out, a new life in the Cosmic Christ. Entering the community to be new. The dead shall rise, for we will become new, and our old self shall die. We shall be able to step out of the darkness because of the Holy Lights that shine with us, in us and through us.

Are you and me ready for the ultimate home makeover? The renewal of a Soul Palace, the hardest journey we will ever embark upon, and continually re-enter?

Are we ready to acknowledge hope?