I was blessed to be apart of the majority of learning/educational Passover last night, with the songs, the food, the stories, traditions and contemplative questions. As I reflected I began to build out in my mind and heart that we tend to misunderstand burden. The concept of release from burden when one is a caregiver sets us up to have interrupted or repressed grieving. For those unaware unprocessed grief can create the same mental, emotional and physiological responses as PTSD, even a misdiagnosis and mistreatement.
Why is this in mind? Well, I have played a role as caregiver with other relatives like my Mum and Dad, with various relatives. Though in the moments, and at that time in history it was and is being family. Though over time and even then, when the caring ended, as the loved one transitioned to the next adventure (as we would explain to my kids, the great tea party), some things always perplexed or landed wrong.
Yes it was emotionally draining, rolling with emotions and new experiences. Seeing my loved Granddad struggle physically with his emphysema. My Nan, who began to see the effects of dementia. My Granmda with her falls, and then in hospital in the last days where her mind had regressed to a point in time in history where I was no born, so I was either my uncle or cousin, but I still got to have time with her and show her love. With each of them. With my Mum as she journeyed towards the end with breast cancer, and her own mental health struggles. Same thing, it was hard emotionally.
But then the phrase, the essence being, “while isn’t it wonderful it is over” or “think of how much better things will be now”. Sentiments echoed with my own son.
Yet, NO.
It was time spent. It was time together. Yes, if our society did not have systemic issues of emotional constipation around chronic conditions. Emotional phobia of death. Perhaps these journeys would be more supportive by all. If our governments did not see citizens as the enemy and fight against supports or enforce constant cycles of advocacy to prove personhood… Yeah, caregiving is hard emotionally but it is being family. What breaks one’s spirit, heart and yes body, is the constant fighting with the world crafted by those elected that do no see the one with the chronic condition as person. That is the true draining.
And then because we are to see this work of caregiving (not the advocacy and systemic “isms” and prejudices as the burden) we are to be gladdened when the life is lost and grieving should be nicely wrapped up as the employer dictactes (no longer than 3 paid days if in Calgary, or 5 outside of town), and it better fit the description human resources provides as kin, God help you (and yes that is intentional, not blasphemous) if you family functions differently.
So as I reflect on my journey of family, as caregiver, my own chronic conditions. The support and story of loss, and what is reflected. I know the release, of unrepressed grieving. Of letting the tears flow anew, to understand that the burden was not the caring, and time with the loved one. The burden is what our systems create for proper care and support of professionals and ensuring those systems are properly equipped.
I encourage the caregivers, the personal ones, let us raise our voices. Let us push for proper caregivers allowances to reduce the systemic burden, to allow for our time with loved ones to exist so we can continue to care and together thrive.
Let us raise our voices for government to get out of the meta-fallacy-myth that citizens are out to defraud the system, and use the fact checker of the CRA at the end so that thriving can happen for those we care for.
Let us raise our voices, and stop the politicos and the populists and the anger mob from shaping the faux ballot box questions and direclty speak to those running and not accept the non answer anymore.
Let us raise our voices, and admit the burden that is being released in loss is constantly fighting for our loved ones to be seen as person.
Let us raise our voices, and celebrate the extra time we have had.
Between giving up my ordination due to ableism of my home congregation, and before my vows as a Professional Lay Leader in another tradition the words of Crossan and Borg’s reflective historical book, The Last Week took root. Okay, they had taken root way before but who can pass up such an introductory sentence as this. It spoke of the journey of Palm Sunday, that familiar story, so familiar that we tend to short change the journey of Holy Week, into Passion Sunday, an almost Twitter (sorry X) story of Easter (like the Good Friday, Campolo quote, it’s Friday but Sunday’s coming, acknowledging that human beings do not like to be in the tension of grieving).
He Shows Goodwill Tells the Good Story 12:13 FNVNT
A great crowd of them took branches from palm trees and went out to greet him. Waving palm branches in their hands, they began to shout, “Hosanna!” meaning “Help us!” They cried out with glad hearts. “We honor you as the one who is to come representing the Great Spirit. You are the Great Chief of the tribes of Wrestles with Creator (Israel) !”
As Creator Sets Free (Jesus), was entering with those that his oppressive powers (the Empire, those who used weaponized Religion, merchants) were not citizens or people (think of the procession this would be today as the death throes of Christendom, and the healing change as the cycle of intergenerational trauma and colonialism is being pushed back against and hopefully removed, the last gasps of hatred fueled populism one can hope). This was a gathering of celebration that travelled through the rows of death, the assertion of Empire as those that had dared speak out, or attempt to bring about change were crucified to line the road ways into Jerusalem, to remind Israel that the story of Passover, the saving of their G-d was invalid and nothing more than a myth.
On the other side, Pontius Pilate, who was selected for his ability to instill fear and assert power and control once more. The pomp and ceremony. The display of authoriative power, oh what had this humble labourer-non-person, done to ensure that it was known he was target.
The folden palm crosses (usually last year’s palms are burnt for the ashes on Shrove Tuesday to make the ash for Ash Wednesday to start the Season of Lent). This palm cross was folded as part of a youth night, when I was a youth pastor in the Anglican Church I was the first baby baptized on their role. Anyways more on the baptism concept to come, it was given to my Nan, and when she went into long term care and could not have personal belongings, passed on to my Mum, who when she passed away, came back to me. A lineage connection, as I was a generational Sunday School Teacher throughout my family, if in different traditions (my daughter continued this for a season as well).
The palm, the challenge of authoritarianism. Think of that image as we push back against the forms of hatred in our world– trans, anti-semite, muslim, white supremacy, queer, youth, disability, any other form hatred takes to assert, well what Pilate’s parade was asserting. Think of in our world the arguments against Universal Basic Income, the failure of affordable housing, greedflation, all means of control from oligarchs (billionaires becoming trillionaires) as they push back against being taxed (rendering onto Caesar that which is Caesar’s, for those who assert Christendom as the tradition of the west, it is imperative we impose wealth taxes to assure the systems of care are universal, robust and free, for those who do not, it is imperative that we impose wealth taxes for the same ends).
It is this day, of the Liturgical Church Calendar, I also honour the chosen baptisms of my children. My son, worked hard to be heard to be baptized within an ELCIC church that we found short term belonging in, after being told we did not belong. He was so excited, and in tears as he was informed it was time. This was after sustained talks, aiding with other baptisms. It was his triumphal entry, the shattering of language/communication bias, the asserting of his role as minister of the gospel not as someone to be served, but who is also going to serve with a called purpose, part of the blessed mosaic creation of the Holy Mystery, in their image.
The following year, my youngest chose to be baptized as well, our warrior princess, shattering glass and kicking @$$ as the Brad Paisely song goes, as she continues to change the dynamics of the world, always a creative free spirit of drawing, painting, singing and dancing.
Times to celebrate the ongoing familial moments of challenging the powers of oppression and control, pushing back, and asserting full creation. These are reminders and pieces of my discerned, if not fulfilled as a justice moment,vocational call to diaconal ministry.
But Palm Sunday, with the celebration is also tinged with sadness, as I look upon the folded Palm Crosses, on the kitchen wall, with my Mum’s cow art. It was the last time my Mum would physically be in church with me and my family, celebrating my youngest’s baptism (the next time, her physical remains were there, and I could feel her spirit, but it was celebrating her life after she succumbed to all that came with her long fight against breast cancer).
I wonder, how different our understanding of Easter would be if we took time to continue the journey? Offer times of being in remembrance of our own journeys? Those we have lost? Changes we have endured and gone through? Things let go, things that have come.
I do ponder…
If this was done,
would we see the Pilate Parade be the one finally silenced in our world?
It is an intriguing confluence or more likely coincidence (since philosophically humans like to avoid those) that in my learnings in disability theology this month brought me to Rev. Dr. Hardwick’s (the Autism Pastor) Disability and the Church: A Vision for Disability and Inclusion, as well as Father Matthew Schneider, LC’s (Autistic Priest’s) God Love’s the Autistic Mind: Prayer Guide for Those on the Spectrum and Those Who Love Us, as the polytechnique I serve at as a philosophy instructor is in the midst of neurodivergency month for us to learn and continue innovative ways to support students learn and find vocation.
It also shows what I have noticed within the realm of a unique division in Roman Catholicism and Protestantism (yes I am using these as their broad terms without the nuance of the diversity that exists within, sometimes stereotypes can be useful to advance a discussion and challenge). Schneider pointed out that many families (his work had a USA statistic) with folks who are Autistic simply won’t engage with church, and that the way one with Autism engages with religion is different. Understanding these things is about shaping the spiritual for universal engagement. That is seeing what is possible, in Calgary (where Schneider orginitated, he know ministers in America), there is a Mass that is low-sensory, still has all the pieces just not as stimulating for those with neuro-diversity, that as my Anglican heritage would phrase it, all the smells and bells, are lessened. My family has attended this Mass in the past (I was a RC Lay Minister for a few years in my journey, but never a formal member), it was engaging, and the diversity of the Imageo Dei present was beautiful, a space for my son and his friends.
Though it always does raise the challenge in my heart, can we stop creating separate religious spaces? Sometimes it is necessary, sometimes it is creating a rhythm in multiple services offered where others will join so it is not segregation as with this style of Mass. Sadly, more often than not, our Protestant experience has been to turn those with disabilities into talking displays to point out difference, or the failed call to healing prayer or directing families to the mega-churches that have distinct ministries. Some have provided welcome and belonging, most recent readers of the spring edition 2024 of Presbyterian Connections here in Canada can see my article on what this can look like.
Which leans me into Hardwick’s work, he is also diagnosed with Autism, and serves as a church pastor. What is intriguing about his book, while Schneider engages with how the autistic mind functions with spirituality, prayer, and even provides in the second part of his book 52 reflections (and Schneider highlights each person is unique, even the manifestation of the diagnosis), Hardwick points out the short comings of inclusion. What intrigued me, as I reflected into his work, and shared with my guide on this renewal of disability theology, is his fifth chapter specifically.
It is the chapter he engages with education. The key take away was the advocacy, resonance, and eloquence he laid out having to get the leaders of the church to engage with their learning and discovery on this topic in a new way. The way churches engage with the program/ministry mindset needs to be unlearned for the new to come into reality. This is the learning journey. Looking at this concept, and the reticence to understand change (both psychologically and philosophically as humans) and our constant appeal to traditions, sadly, leaning into literal readings of texts is what has created the current quagmire in the church.
Not seeing the healing miracles as calls to social justice and equity for the Imageo Dei, destroying the moralistic lens in regards to illness or disability is needed. Shattering our fear of transforming our buildings beyond what building code (grandfathererd or otherwise) state is needed for full accessibility for all members of community (note the word used there, don’t be reactive until one needs, be proactive to show welcome and inclusion that can lead to belonging).
Begin book clubs, begin learning and reaching out to disability agencies, offer space to host (in Alberta, possibly other areas) to the agencies that aid with transitions between child and adult services or even day programming space, creative space…the list goes on. Ensure sound boards are functioning properly (as they wear out, the almost imperceptible hum can trigger neurological episodes in those with seizure and convulsive disorders, so can feedback loops, ensure your volunteers are trained well to reduce harm–as one who has had these moments while preaching they are not fun).
The transformation of education starting with leadership, and filtering outwards is important. I have struggled on this latest professional development journey as for the outcome, and these two books speaking on Autistic experience, made me realize the experience and concepts can be expanded so we can create the risky radical concept in our communities Swinton wrote of, belonging. And actualize what Yong so eloquently put into words:
“Each person with a disability, no matter how serious, severe, or even profound, contributes something essential to and for the body through the presence and activity of the Spirit; people with disabilities are therefore ministers empowered by the Spirit of God, each in their own specific way, rather than merely recipients of the ministries of non-disabled people” (The Bible, Disability, and the Church: A New Vision of the People of God by Amos Yong, 2011, p. 95)
Which has led me to begin crafting a workshop of learning and discovery for churches to engage in the journey of authentically expanding belonging for the created image, our neighbours and our ministers.
Okay maybe pluralizing was a touch sensationalizing, but when we think of red herrings, it is like a murder mystery. That thing (or clue) tossed in there that sounds credible or relevant but falls flat. That is, it is an irrelevant premise to prove an argument. These exist in the last gasps of Christendom as embodied in fundamentalist mainline and evangelical to Christian Nationalism.
The red herring du jour, is the one that they are using their last political flex in populism for, the “parental choice or rights” bills, the “don’t say gay” or “anti-trans its just a phase” that our world gives a pass to, because it is couched in the concept of “phobia”. A phobia is an irrational fear like we see of clowns, or heights, or the marketplace or spiders to name but a few. The idea of hatred conflated with an actual mental health diagnosis is both disheartening, and shows the power of media. For the rise of this hatred turned phobia, started with the Ricki Lake trial, where they did the “you have a secret crush” only the crush turned out to to be the male neighbour for the gent and the argument went his irrational fear led to the murder. A true red herring.
And it perpetuates as we, even allies or those in the community, continue to lean into the phobia language- homophobia, transphobia. Sorry, its not an irrational fear driven by anxiety, you have just found a way to straw man hatred. And our citizens, neigh, for those who have read the stories of Jesus in the Christian Testament, our neighbours, are paying the price for it being used as power (no the majority does not get to decide if the minority enjoys full human rights that is not how that works).
For those who profess to follow Jesus, just think of the fallacies (possible false dilemmas or faulty analogies) you are falling in to. Our creator is genderless or genderfluid, we know this because in the Hebrew Bible it states we are created in their image, not a plural reading, but rather the singular use. Jesus renamed friends constantly, if you read St. Paul, and not Saul of Tarsus, or know St. Peter is at the gates of heaven, but not St. Simon, you get the concept of preferred names. If you actually read Saul, with the proper socio-historical context he is not the misogynist current literalists would frame him as (sorry, my bad no speaking evangelical, complimentarian). Rather within the letters of Paul, you discover egalitarianism, and equality, and even equity for the body of Christ (think how he callenges the labels and caste system of the day, how would that read today? What imposed insider/outsider dynamic have we created).
The early church, was equitable and equal, Jesus’ followers had as many women in power as men, oh and let’s not forget in Acts, Mary of Nazareth (that woman who bore the peasant rabble rouser) ascented to who would replace Judas, and the beloved disciple was asked from the cross by Jesus to care for his Mumma.
We see gender, orientation, falling away, what we see is practices of degradation, oppression, hatred, and explooitation as he challenged the powers of his day of Empire and religion. Today it would be political, populist, hate groups cloaked in religion, and capitalistic.
So yes, as you hear of “parental rights” to cloak harm to an image of God (and yes the Imageo Dei is robust enought to wrap around all humanity, including our trans siblings) and put their lives at risk as hate, oppression and dysmorphia can lead to suicide, hate can lead to violence against, educate yourself a bit: https://www.cbc.ca/news/health/hormone-blockers-puberty-1.7113626
If you sit there wondering how the church could be part of colonialism and genocide and slave trades, and then remain silent as other groups are attacked, rights are removed, or the atrocities of the past like colonialism, genocide and the slave trade (as well as the Holocaust) are denied… you have answered your own question. Because you are the answer in your silent culpability.
The Christendom to maintain power, and what it perceives as relevance through power has found another group to continue to target and harm. Instead of, allowing the Holy Spirit to blow through. The question for us is will we let the vocal hatred become us?
Or will we, take the stand to tell it to be quiet and sit down?
I for one am tired of the false narratives, the hate. The concept of a phase, so what if a person on the journey of discovery explores the robust and infinite image of the Creator and then comes back around to how they were identified at birth? So what if they go on the same journey, and live into how they were created? By continuing the narrative of control and choice in these matters, we dishonour our Creator whose image we are in, and we dishonour the beautiful diversity that is the mosaic of that image on creation.
Whether it is my pre-19 year old return to the church life of justice & peace work or simply my political journey, or my post-19 return to church life that saw formation within the Franciscan charism, and a leaning to the calling of diaconal ministry, which is justice and education. One thing has always been being a provocateur for change for the better of the person and community. One tool we have for this is story, those who get it (like Jesus’ parables) get it and act, those that don’t (like Jesus said the purpose of the parables is) will still be lost and confused.
Doctor Who’s 60th annviersary regeneration of the Fourteenth Doctor, with the returning face of Ten, shows us two things (there are probably many, but we’ll keep it focused). The first is the end of an ableist trope in society, and the other, is showing the zero-sum that is the patriarchy system.
What is the ableist trope? In the Children in Need episode before the three episode 60th anniversary season, titled Skaro. The lead Dalek, who has always been shown as disabled, using a wheel chair, that equates to evil (think of villains with the hooked hand, badly scarred, of the fallacy that those with schizophrenia are violent even though they are more likely to be abused). The episode changed the story for Skaro to not be a wheel chair user, and the eruption of the implicit ableist bias of evil being challenged triggered those that fall within the hate category under the guise of why change or sci-fi was never “woke”; all stories challenge societal norms for growth, change and understanding. The X-Men have always done this, before succumbing to the ableist trope with Professor X becoming the villainous Onslaught in the 1990’s, he was a wheel chair user and a hero. In the 60th anniversary episodes of Dr. Who, a Unit lead was a wheel chair user, and bad ass heroic.
The second, being within the first episode, so was 10 not only back as 14, the other piece was the favourite companion, Donna, returning. She who had taken in the power of the Time Lords, and if she remembered would die. In the Star Beast, Donna and the Doctor re-connect to offset an invasion, it is a fun story reminiscient of the dynamic of 10 and Donna, reinvented with 14 and Donna as they try to accomplish the feat without Donna remembering. But she does, yet doesn’t die? What is discovered in the climatic piece, is that Donna, and her daughter had shared the power. The shattering of the zero sum, patriarchal way of society. Challenging the rugged individual, pull yourself up by your own boot straps, all success and power is your own– that which was viewed into Donna taking the power in, and would have destroyed. Yet here the story was flipped, power was shared, and then to save life– was freely given away to allow thriving…
Hmmm….
See the power of story. Yes I encourage you, lean into your stories, shows, movies. Dune Part 1 & 2, think it through what does it say about capitalism? About control and power? Value of person over product? How is value and a monetary system really determined? Yes, I am awaiting the return of Part 1 to a streaming service I subscribe to (looking at you Crave) so I do not have to pay an extra fee to rent. Though there is also something to be said about physical media.
Take time to understand the stories you enjoy. Take time to discuss with others. To go beyond the surface, if we could simply go beyond the surface our world may change for the better.
An epic line, from a fun and epic franchise, Shrek 2 and oh so true of a reality we have forgotten as human beings. Some say I focus on toileting far too much, but truly I feel like the old trades instructor discussing gender neutral bathrooms on campus with the maple MAGA youngin’ who was scared of “who might be in there with him” and the old guy’s response was classic, “I don’t care who’s takin’ a dump next to me, I care if they wash their hands afterwards”
Sidebar: 40% of Albertans do not wash their hands after using the washroom
We have made bathrooms, what is between one’s legs, a gestapo like subject of removing human dignity. Stripping away the Imageo Dei down to the hate we have created G-d in our image with and not for the true beauty of the created image share in Hebrew poetry of Genesis in the Hebrew Bible. So yes, gender neutral bathroom are a blessing for the gender spectrum, and if they are stalls or stand alones it is all good.
But that is not all, we need universal design for more than just one piece of the humanity puzzle, for we forget the intersections of life. We forget folks who are born with or acquire disabilities throughout life that may not toilet in what society classes as “normal” (our greatest meta myth for segregation). The church I walked away from ordination within, did bathrooms brilliantly with a renovation in 1999. They were gender neutral, they were 6 single use bathrooms with support bars, big enough for walkers and wheel chairs, and had baby change tables that folded down. Almost a complete universal design, for bars and others could aid someone in a wheel chair for a safe transfer…but almost is not complete now is it when it comes to accessibility (though beyond the building code it was, in my best Yoda voice).
Support bars for transfers, floating sinks, baby change tables, wide enough for wheel chair and walkers, genderless, so that regardless of the family member or support staff they could aid the individual. This last piece was a push back I gave a progressive affirming church when they went on an anti-genderless bathroom messaging when bathroom renovations was brought up.
Disabilities intersect all aspects of our life. Ignoring at best is ableism, at worst becomes eugenics either passive or active.
But it still had no place for those who do not toilet, to be changed beyond probably the age of 1.5 years old.
What dignity is removed when this happens in an office space or on the bathroom floor?
Truly universal would engage a bench built out of the wall wide enough for an adult to be changed on.
Oh, and ensure that menstraul products are readily available for free (and if you want to be `90’s cool, in a province that has hidden all sexual health information, a basket of condoms with a red and white napkin to make it look high class– for the folks in Nanton from a certain time in the 1990’s will remember their Mac’s story). They promote dignity
So yeah, genderless bathrooms shape belonging. . .
It is a bit tongue in cheek, but I recall, a few years back in the United Church of Canada, a candidate for moderator who was a wheelchair user did call out church ableism (and yes this is not simply one denomination’s issue) as not wanting to talk about their buildings. Ever been inside one with historical status so they cannot change too much inside or outside for accessibility? Or if a ramp is added, as Dr. Dr. Amy Kenny, in her memoir, My Body is not a Prayer Request: Disability Justice in the Church (2022) muses the side ramp being the hiding the secret of the disabled congregant, while keeping up appearances of inclusion. Both these ideas pop in to mind as I read through her pages, Australian born, sharing life in our neighbours to the south, this Shakespearean scholar came on my radar from a 2023 conference with McMaster and Ambrose, that illustrated the point of churches not getting true access and inclusion (neigh, belonging) as a speaker she could not be on stage in the pulpit—for lack of a ramp, she was on the floor. These reflective thoughts will share a bit about how to use this book within a reading circle, some truths the church needs to be aware of to know our sin of ableism and begin the steps for reconciliation, and honestly, can we change the bathrooms so one can belong?
Do we live the tropes?
This past Christmas, some Whovians showed they really do not understand their fandom (much like some Trekkies and X-men fans on the socials recently), as the lead Dalek villain, Davros who has always been shared as disabled, was reinvented to destroy, and point out the trope of disabled as villain. The implicit bias came out on full display for this change. Implicit bias is that bias that we accept as we were so emersed became unaware it was there (check your own here: Take a Test (harvard.edu)) once in the light though, are we willing to challenge and change?
What other tropes exist? Dr. Kenny (2022) points to the churchdom trope, of cure for belonging, calling it out and pointing out that the stories of healing were not about cure. What a work of word work, did you catch it? We profess an imaginative engagement with the healing stories in our ableism to perpetuate this idea of less than for the create image of God with disability and have missed the point of the story (which is one definition of sin). See these stories were about healing that is challenging the socio-cultural traditions that have allowed for the exclusion and the “less than” or dehumanizing or, criptax (Kenny, 2022) that those with disabilities regardless of supports pay extra for access or medical assistance (which can be physical, mental health, dental, optical in the universal system of Canada).
Are we wiling to understand the healing miracles? For it wasn’t the “making whole” that was the story trope for the hearer to understand that something different was happening, it was about the challenging of community. How many of the healings broke religious or societal norms? Where were they directed after? Back to those who excluded to push the envelope back on them.
Are we wiling to see the fully created Imageo Dei before us regardless of the diagnosis and labels? Are we willing to understand that those diagnosis and labels are about the supports a person needs to thrive? And are we as a society/community willing to ensure that happens?
And guess what?
Ensuring that happens, means that we have to be ready to have the hard conversation about our buildings.
What is accessibility?
I have played around with, taught, and shared the Belonging Pyramid in both spiritual and secular spaces to understanding. The hardest conversation around is around buildings. Many times, it is the only asset congregations have, other times they have sought or received historical designation and as such cannot make too many changes to structure. Which leaves them in a quandy in a world where 1 in 6 children will be born with or acquire an exceptionality, and as congregations age. Dr. Kenny (2022) shares many instances where churches have adventures in losing the plot of their own building story. Where there is access, as she shared around a ramp in a new space to enter the building, but instead of making that the new entrance, they left it for the mobility device users and pivoted to the main entrance being after a stair ascent.
What is the message being sent? That we are a secret to be hid. Or the religious trope of “cured” for we misunderstand and misapply healing parables and stories. Dr. Kenny (2022) also shares stories of inaccessible youth or adult outings in nature, where she is piggy backed around as her chair could not go, just pause and think of that for a moment. Have we thought through the point of community?
This is where accessibility falls down, inside our buildings we default to whatever the building code stipulates, in my city, Calgary, many places are grandfathered in as building codes change so they do not have to keep up, or have a ramp or lift added but haven’t thought through sloping or which door the ramp has access to? And the message being sent to the ramp user.
This is why accessibility has to be looked at when building and how to design as barrier free as possible. It is about the buildings now and asking do they still function for our needs or is there something that can be done? Can we approach non-profits that work in accessibility to aid in planning renovations for true accessibility or look at partnering with other neighbouring churches to build new or purchase new as a group (leveraging our properties to send a true message of welcome?).
Which brings to one of the touchiest questions around, bathrooms. A lightning rod issue is gender neutral bathrooms but one piece not part of the conversations shares the erasure of the intersections of aging and disabilities. That being that not everyone is able to toilet without help. Can you guarantee the aid or aides (depending on how many supports are necessary for thriving or lifting) are of the same gender as the person needing support? Can you guarantee the bars and supports are set up and usable for all? What happens if a medically complex person needs to wait because there is only one “accessible stall” (yes quotes are intentional) for can the mobility device come in with them? What if the latch is broken? If there is que? Or it is out of toilet paper? What happens if the bustle in the public washroom has triggered other sensory issues?
Then the biggest challenge, what if the adult, teen, the age beyond infancy, does not toilet?
In nursery spaces, and some washrooms we provide change tables for infants. They are not the only ones that sometimes need a change table. Is the floor of a washroom or other public space really dignity? Or worse, sitting in one’s own urine/feces until a privacy space that accommodates can be found? What if with the emersion of accessible and gender-neutral bathrooms/washrooms, a bench was built into the wall that allowed for one beyond infant size to be changed? What a welcome saying we see everyone in our community and how they do what everyone does, here is dignity.
The Truth…can reconciliation happen?
Accessibility. Crip Tax. Cure not healing. Dehumanizing (through implicit bias). Bathrooms that are not functional. These are simply some of the truths of ableism that need to be spoken and heard clearly. As one reads Dr. Kenny’s book they are front and centre, also understanding throughout the different ways we discard or trivialize the individuals life experience without knowing them.
What? The truth of life is more than simply accessibility (though we have to ensure that is there well beyond building code). It is definitely more than inclusion, our current catch phrase for that just ensures there is a space no matter how undignified (how many mobility device users have been made to feel like furniture as they are discussed as fire hazards for blocking?).
It is about belonging, the ultimate risk, the risk of connection, the risk of care, the risk of loss. Remember that notion of healing and not only challenging but changing the socio-cultural norms?
Can we?
Will we continue to hear the truth, and change?
A book group?
This is the useful tool of Dr. Amy Kenny (2022) My Body is Not A Prayer Request: Disability Justice in the Church can function as a way into understanding and opening up the discussion around disability theology. There is functional questions in each chapter, and lists to challenge the thought process of the reader. What I would challenge the facilitator for the book group to do, is learn the local context for disability acts in your province, supports, and what reality is. Do not assume the bias story that everything is covered.
There is supports, though in Alberta, many of the supports are based on a reimbursement model, which means families need to have the extra wealth to be able to put the money out and wait. That is but one example. Did you also know, many times in Alberta that when a child with disability turns 18, it is a journey of reproving all diagnosis and worth to continue with supports? It is a lifetime of advocacy as a parent/adult caregiver to ensure systems constantly see your child as person. Dr. Kenny shares this as well in her book, about how the medical world didn’t always understand pain the procedure, so often it can be overlooked as some professionals see the medically complex as puzzles, or practice or research participants but in the process the person and their own self can be overlooked.
So yes, engage with the work as a community. Then turn the lens from the book onto your own religious community and ask, we are discovering the truth, how do we create the space God is calling us into for healing?
Especially on the eve of the second week of Lent, where the text is Mark 9:2-9, the Transfiguration, it is a call to community to move into belonging holy.
That’s an authentic feeling of the rush of pain from the Longest Night
When we honour and remember our houseless neighbours who have gone to the next life,
some surrounded by loved ones, some feeling unloved
some lost into the darkness
though the brightest light still resides in them.
Almost double from 2022.
What went wrong?
Complacency.
Acceptance that in our city, our system
it is okay for neighbours to reside
in rough camps
in vehicles
outside
Not all are due to the opioid epidemic
though that faulty moralistic lens of punishment is an easy out for many
especially failed leaders and politicians in community, city hall and Alberta Legislature
I have been laughed at, and mocked
for decades saying this is solvable
for inspiring students when I was in the field from pre-k to doctorate
to students in my classrooms now
that it is solvable
it is about
H-O-M-E
but that begins with housing,
as I wrote for the now defunct long defunct PC Party of Canada for policy a seven step solution decades ago
to repair what the Federal Liberals and Provincial Conservatives did in a “common sense” revolution of the 1990’s.
A government created pandemic of lack
So simple
See the person before you from newborn to centerian
as a person (yes you can spiritualize if you belive, as I do and see the Image of God)
So simple,
Nationalize health care and expand to include pharmacare, optical and dental.
Nationalize housing builds, between 10-15% of all new builds regardless of type need to be on an affordable spectrum from rental to ownership. All new builds need to be fully accessible and universal design.
Universal Basic Income.
It works.
It removes the red tape and false myths of those that are out to game the system.
It allows many to shift from survival to thriving.
Gives all income.
Lowers domestic violence for stay at home and grandparents have money to be viable engagers in economy.
Housing, income, health.
Basics of life.
Purpose is not tied to employment (but more in church on Dec. 31 and Jan. 21), it is what we are passionate to be and give.
Belonging is beyond inclusion,
it is not about being able to access or having a space
it is being known.
Being neighbour.
As Henri Nouwen challenged us, cross the street and say hi to neighbour
and celebrate and engage with the beautiful mosaic that is us.
Release the anger. Release the hate.
Yes it is solvable.
Or are we okay, Calgary, with 436 neighbours dying for lack, a lack that we created through our own greed?
What will it take in 2024? Another doubling?
Or a baby?
Frozen or roasted in the heat or smoke or cold?
Or will we still simply walk by and say, hey its their fault…
For their sibling, aunt, uncle, mum, dad, poppa, nana, grandpa, grandma dying is no different….
Paul Vargis
Ty
A Monk's Musings 