Archive for the ‘One Voice E-Chaplet’ Category

Reboot Cannot Load Updates

Posted: October 23, 2017 by Ty in One Voice E-Chaplet, Spirituality

One sets out to craft a better world. In their own little corner, but the most surprising things can trip them up and remind one, how interconnected the wiring of a human being is.

 It is annoying when a computer says that after trying to load updates.

But when the brain trips

Like a breaker

The lights go out

Powers down

The mind resets the breaker

Clicks back on

Like an old XT the computer that is a brain boots back up

But the updates cannot load

The brain cannot continue to run like a tablet or Windows 10

Updates do not compute

Leave the mind

A washed with a backlog of old information — pain.

Not adjusted

Not healed

All the pain

Grief

Tears

Relived

The flashes become

Real

Those who died in arms

Under bridges

Out in the cold

On the mat on the floor

Choosing death over life

Old paths over hope

Watching you drown in a hospital bed

Hearing it will be alright

Drowned out

By the tumours tearing another’s brain apart

 

Racked with physical pain of my own

Stepping out

Doing the work

Clicking of a gun of one who stalks you

Saving a child

Drawing the line

In the sand

No more evil on this block

For this person

Shoring up the choice of new life

Is lost

Through another Funeral Mass

Praying last rites

And shoring up eternal hope

Not sure

Others wanting you to intervene

As you respect the will of choice

Regardless of the relation

Choice of death, over life

Or Life lived well over torturous times

The reboot happened

The brain flicked back on

Another life lost

The shadows tear apart

Those that walked out to the light

Only leave you

With those that you failed

Could not save you.

Could not come to peace

At home.

I am sorry…

I failed…

I could not save you

Or lay the pathway out.

 

 

 

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Corcovado jesus

Corcovado jesus (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

How do

we make the sacred shine?

Create a safe,

welcoming home?

For all of God‘s children to shine

willingly move beyond the traps of false loves

—money, power—

to lovingly livingly embrace the Holy Mystery

How can we

reclaim a God of Love?

discard God of vengeful anger?

How can we

build that which Jesus called us to be?


Is no longer a safe space

sacredness is lost

the soul revealed

souled out

a place of judgment

labels

division

casting out

attack

must protect self

attack on children

sacred stripped bear to nothing more than earthly power and lusts

Where is the Holy?

God misappropriated for horrors

Control

Money

In or Out

Right or Wrong

Is this truly what Jesus intended?


Lights / Luces

Lights / Luces (Photo credit: . SantiMB .)

Reactionary emotion

heart shutting

soul rending

F-E-A-R

power made

power lost

control surrendered to another

compounds upon others…

strikes when one is at their weakest

Destructive

destruction

control regained

fear challenged

it is time

to unshutter the heart

Light of Holy Mystery to shine back in

a spark,

fanned to a glimmer,

fanned some more feeding it hope

hope sparks through the prism of the heart

warming the soul anew.


Lived experience…

so we are told is the greatest school of learning

Yet even the struggle comes from within

to seek knowledge, live wisdom

to aid those called to help

what if…

the one called

is the one in need?

13.5 years

since the night of blackness

since a crutch was thrown away

a mental break with the anger that seized

drove to be soothed

through a warm…strong…amber…liquid…

no longer soothed

released in grief

yet this genie needs no bottle

it is a demon tearing at the soul,

rending and ripping

as the aromas of long ago soothings once more in the house

BEGONE!

Release,

weep,

it is okay to cry,

true humanity embraces emotions,

lives into them

and out emerges a soul

that is ready for renewal…

But the struggle will always be

below the surface

for in all of us exists

the duel capacity of self—

love or destruction…

but one must choose…

Love

 


It is an ugly emotion

Let’s be honest

we think jealousy or greed

but really, Grief is what destroys

it latches on to our most carnal desires,

allows anger to seize control of a system that is too love…

Our command to love neighbour as self,

in grief possibly we can fake loving neighbour, but as the anger eats away at our insides, we truly are destroying ourselves faster than any addiction or razor blade would.

it is the root, of self-destruction, much like the love of money is the root of evil,

but grief festoons,

simply because

with loss we toss about so easily

“it is God‘s will”

What a load

of bull shit…

for how does God deem one beloved matriarch dies, while a beloved patriarch lives?

How one Mum wastes away from illness in the cells and another from illness unseen?

How it become easy, to hate one’s siblings, blood or other

as senses heightened like a were-wolf

smells out the weakness

and attacks to props one self up as higher…

Grief is destructive….

Needs the consolation of a beloved grandmother…

yet it is Nan that I miss

as she smiles down from Nirvana.


My poetic journal of outreach and justice work in and throughout Canada.

One Voice in Protest