Barrier Breaker? Blessed Release?

It is an intriguing time of the journey. Navigating change. Navigating a reignition/recycle of severe health symptomology, and then feeling the drain away. High stress, the gig economy of academia, into release and relax. Exploring the holistic for far to much, especially in the West, we silo each aspect of our whole self (this is physical or psychological or emotional or spiritual) and miss that all pieces are integrated, and impact one another.

Yet as the rain comes down, in a dry and drought ridden prairie, one ponders, if the dirt being washed away, and the probability and possibility of new life it brings.

Takes me into the learning opportunities I have experienced over the last several weeks, from an educational Passover Meal, that engaged with the stories of the Hebrew Bible, and the concept of Amalekites. Those that had to be removed, for Israel in the story to flourish in the Promised Land (yes I am probably overly simplifying), a story that has been used as a weaponization of sacred literature in the current acts of Genocide by the Israeli government labelling the Palestinians as Amalekites. Though Hamas, inserting their own drive from the land call to action as well. Missing the colonial/settler dynamic of a world trying to cope with their own anti-semitic guilt out of the Holocaust that created and continued to perpetuate what is now a horror show, and needs not only a cease fire, but a true solution for truth, reconciliation and peace.

Then intersecting with a blessed graduation weekend this past weekend, where the exploration of the speakers on the parable from the Christian Testament, of the builder who builds on rocks, and bringing the story into context, context, context, of the Sermon on the Mount, and what it means to shape and re-shape our life and journey. To be open to moments of cyncism, to know there may be times we are going through the motions or show, but what happens when we authentically engage?

To the workshop on neurodiversity students before the graduation weekend at another school, that stirred emotions and remembrances of my own lore if you will. I have always exhibited traits, and before my micro-strokes, and ongoing ones, have a brain that works and processes differently. Some of this caused by anti-convulsant medication, some by just biological/neurology. I chose to excel at academics, and my creative pursuits– why? Simple, enter into my geeky fandoms, and be the brain, so when bullied it was for that, and not the wonderful world of 80’s and 90’s kids who decided to use the “r word”, but shifting gears, there was moments and probably not as bad, as I was also a well developed smart alyc 🙂

But still the remembrance opening.

And brings me back around to Passover, which produced the reflection of Caregiver Fallacy

A piece of what this part of the dinner reflections after the sharing of the story of the Amalekites, and then as was shared to me, from the teachings of Conservative Rabbi Moses Brandises of Minz, from the Hasidic notion of Amalekite as metaphor/allegory for things such as gluttony, laziness, discouragement and how this functions in our own lives…which leads to this idea of a simple poetic form:

What discourages?

When one’s mind fog rolls on

and simple to complex words and ideas easily shared

is it not easier to simply be quiet?

Can their be healing?

Not always the medical cure

but rather the communal justice

that shatters barriers

sees costs lower

and roll

equity, equality, diversity, acceptance

release

as physical environment shifts and change

as relationships grow

others end

cessation can cause healthy release

the physiological system still reflects the emtoinal and neurological health

weariness

constantly seen and felt

yet, begins to ease

though constantly dopey or simply tired

can their ever be enough rest?

Can relationships renew?

Grow anew…

As the spring rain, replaces the April Snow– sleet

like a perennial

not annual

will hope sprout from the soul?

To be able to feel once more

Alleluia?

The Waiting

The most uncomfortable piece of the Holy Week journey, it’s why so many lean into Tony Campolo’s comfort of It’s Friday but Sunday’s coming… we dislike being in grieving. Being in the unknown. Yet it is the mystery that is a part of the journey. The showing of the completely human, why some have Vigil Saturday, where from end of day Friday until Sonrise on Sunday you stay in prayer, some use a more truncated service format of readings and hymns.

How the ancient church attempted to formalize the mystery of what death meant for Brother Jesus, with these thougths from the Apostle’s Creed:  he descended to hell.

The concept popularized in Dante and Milton possibly, but most likely Hades’ the idea of storehouse of souls, raised, broken, the control of evil defeated in this time? Do we truly live that happened, or as Lewis’ would contemplate in the Screwtape Letters we still give over much to demonic forces that are simply part of creation?

Take time not looking to what we know is to come, but take time to be in contemplation, in the moment, processing…for prayer for the dead is the ancient wisdom of knowing we can take everything to God, and by speaking it we begin to heal to move forward into the new reality of what is becoming and can start to release what was. Though we dislike the discomfort of unknown, we dislike the discomfort of loss, we dislike the discomfort of emotions.

Simply be… is hard.

But take this time, be in the unknown, be in the mystery.

Ancient Teaching/Modern Learning: Of cheeky Prayer

Ancient laws were fairly simple. Do not wipe out a village for small in fractions. We have an example still today with our Common Laws in Canada, because, well a system of justice makes things orderly. It provides a system that removes vigilantism and revenge. This was the kernel of the writings in the Hebrew Bible book of Genesis around eye for an eye. Jesus was trying to move the world beyond tribalism and revenge when breaking bread on the Mount he spoke:

³⁸ “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ ³⁹ But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; ⁴⁰ and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; ⁴¹ and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. ⁴² Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you.

-Matthew 5:38-42

The challenge being we hear these words and have taken it to mean that we should be push overs, that we should allow for abuse, and be passive. That was not the case. The assertive measures given were a non-violent method of resistance that kept one safe in the times of the Roman Empire. Yes you read that right.

The cheeks: it was a turn of defense that closed the gap and threw the attacker off balance to allow for escape. Anyone that has studied non-violent crisis intervention, or some of the monastic martial arts ala Aikido know about this. It was not retaliatory in the vein of revenge but protecting one’s own life.

Coat/cloak: The simplicity being taught within Franciscans and other mendicant orders 1200 years on was that we are simply holders so do not be afraid to lose consumer items. The protection in these words being that you were already seen as a not entity, and as such if you do not give up the shirt your life is forfeit, so add insult to the one attacking the untouchable and give your coat. Do the holy action upon the holy person to reveal the hypocrisy.

Go the extra mile: Safety- it produces more space, shows you are willing to do more to aid a better society, again opening up the hypocrisy of the bully. No longer being the bullied but taking the reigns and empowering the by standers to come along side which flows into the idea of removing—

Begging/borrowing- truly live in the Jubilee spirit. Give what you give without expecting payment back or out of any other notion than being able to help. What form does helping take in your world today.

What steps of simple kindness can you take that keeps yourself safe, but resists an unjust system? That shines light into a darkness? That shows those who the world still casts aside they are fully persons?

The original eye for an eye law was to reveal we all carry the cosmic dust…these were getting beyond literalism and fundamentalism (and some cases extremism) to remind humanity: we are all in this together. The ripple effect, one little action can change things for the better. Assertive action can create transformation communally.

⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵ so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. ⁴⁶ For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? ⁴⁷ And if you greet only your brothers and sisters,^[o] what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? ⁴⁸ Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

-Matthew 5: 43-48

What does prayer do? That is always a deep question, and one constantly explored. I remember sitting in Mass one morning (weekday masses after night shifts in emergency shelters always seemed to percolate the most thought). It was such this day as the priest spoke of praying for the dead. He stated quite emphatically it was not about praying them into paradise, that was done in the moment of death when all that kept them away from full/deep communion with the Holy Mystery was purged away (purgatory-rather instantaneous).

No, praying for the dead was about your own heart. It was about removing the shackles you have placed upon yourself so that you are able to reconcile a new day with you and the Holy within.

Contemplate that. Praying is about reconciling your whole being to the interconnectedness of itself.

Now, re-hear verses 43-48, three times:

First hearing, spend time with what emotions are drawn up out of your core being. Spend time with them, best way to release them is through some form of colour work whether it be paint, chalk, sidewalk chalk, crayons, pencil crayons.

Second hearing, spend time with the memories that wash over. Which one truly resonates and sticks out for this moment in time. Write it out as a truly F-you letter to the enemy. And place it with the colours.

Third hearing—just spend time with you. Remind yourself God is love. You are love. You are not what your enemy has led you to believe you are.

In the release moment when you are ready—destroy that which came out from the first two hearings. Spend a moment to grieve the ending, knowing you may need to come back to this moment, or you may not…but the prayer was about love of yourself, and releasing…so you may love your neighbour as you truly now love you.

Ready to embrace a true F-You moment of life?

Authentically L-O-V-E— YOU.

Holy Saturday: Of resurrection, reincarnation and rebirth…releasing the same old story

And Jesus said to them, “Have you come out as against  arobber, with swords and 

clubs to capture me? ^49 qDay after day I was with you in the temple ^rteaching, and you did not seize me. But ^slet the Scriptures be fulfilled.” ^50 tAnd they all left him and fled.⁵¹ And a young man followed him, with nothing but ^ua linen cloth about his body. And they seized him, ⁵² but he left the linen cloth and ran away naked.

–Mark 14:48-52

 

Tradition teaches that the young man is John Mark, author of the gospel of Mark (earliest written on the Canonical gospels) whose parents owned the Upper Room that Jesus’ community had gathered in for the Last Supper. A turning point in their lives. A new beginning, while they entered the darkest hours. Having fled the oppressive authorities and entered what is termed today Holy or Vigil Saturday.  A day that many overlook with exclamations of Friday is here, but Saturday is coming and not realizing the full scope of the journey.

Francis of Assisi shared a mystical experience where he literally believed he had transported back in time and entered the story as the naked boy.  Think about that. Astral projection and time travel, yet how would it shape your life to see the moment authentically and realize that fear would over run as well? This is the time of the Saturday. A time to reflect.

For you see it comes into a time to truly reflect on the life lived. In the passage that is to come from the Aquarian Gospel, some may say it reflects the Akashic records. That which one can tap into for understanding/experiencing their past lives.

This will become a point of consternation for those that do not hold to reincarnation as a staple of the spiritual journey, but then they are missing the rebirth of the Judeo-Christian culture. For as John Shelby Spong, retired Bishop of Newark, would put out the life lived can be viewed in thirds. Each third marking a rebirth. A renewal.

Holy Saturday is time for one, as with Brother Jesus’ earliest community to enter a time of reflection and release. A time to look at one’s journey and realize that we are a culmination of all the good-bad-in different adventures and voices up to this point. But it is only up to this point. For like the celebration of new life to come with Easter Sunday (Spring Solstice). It is time to celebrate our new life by releasing the old.

Before you enter reading and meditating on the words that are to follow. Take a moment to prepare your space at a table/desk. Clear it of anything except some blank paper, a box of colours (crayons, markers, pencil crayons and/or pastels) but do not leave them in the box—dump them out into random chaos upon the table top. Lower the lighting to simply a few candles, this is how the ancients did their spiritual work and sometimes by removing artificial electric lights a different aspect of creativity can be accessed.

Slowly enter into meditative breathing as you read these words:

The Christines go to a place apart to pray. Jesus warns them against the leaven of the Pharisees and reveals the fact that all thoughts and deeds are recorded in God’s Book of Remembrance. Man’s responsibility and God’s care.

1. Now, when the feast was finished Jesus with the foreign masters and the twelve, with Mary, Miriam and a band of loyal women who believed in Christ, went to a place apart to pray.
2. And when their silence ended Jesus said, Be on your guard; the leaven of the Pharisees is being thrown in every measure of the meal of life.
3. It is a poison that will taint whatever it may touch; and it will blight the soul as sure as fumes of the Diabolos; it is hypocrisy.
4. The Pharisees seem fair in speech, but they are diabolical in heart.
5. And then they seem to think that thought is something they can lock within themselves.
6. They do not seem to know that every thought and wish is photographed and then preserved within the Book of Life to be revealed at any time the masters will.
7. That which is thought, or wished, or done in darkest night shall be proclaimed in brightest day;
8. That which is whispered in the ear within the secret place shall be made known upon the streets.
9. And in the judgment day when all the books are opened up, these men, and every other man, shall be a-judged, not by what they’ve said or done,
10. But by the ways in which they used the thoughts of God, and how the ethers of eternal love were made to serve;
11. For men may make these ethers serve the carnal self, or serve the holy self within.
12. Behold, these men may kill the body of this flesh; but what of that? the flesh is but a transitory thing, and soon, by natural law, will pass;
13. Their slaughter only hastens nature’s work a little time.
14. And when they kill the flesh they reach their bounds of power; they cannot kill the soul.
15. But nature is the keeper of the soul as of the flesh, and in the harvest time of soul, the trees of life are all inspected by the judge;
16. And every tree that bears no fruit of good is plucked up by the roots and cast into the flames.
17. Who then shall you regard? Not him who has the power to kill the flesh, and nothing more.
18. Regard the mighty one who has the power to dissolve both soul and body in the flames of nature’s fire.
19. But man is king; he may direct his thoughts, his loves, his life, and gain the prize of everlasting life.
20. And you are not abandoned in your struggle for the crown of life. Your Father lives, and you shall live.
21. God has a care for every living thing. He numbers stars, and suns, and moons;
22. He numbers angels, men and every thing below; the birds, the flowers, the trees;
23. The very petals of the rose he knows by name, and every one is numbered in his Book of Life;
24. And every hair upon your head, and every drop of blood within your veins, he knows by number and by rhythm.
25. He hears the birdling’s call, the cricket’s chirp, the glow worm’s song; and not a sparrow falls to earth without his knowledge and consent.
26. A sparrow seems a thing of little worth; yea, five of them are worth two farthings in the market place, and yet God cares for every one of them.
27. Will he not care much more for you who bear his image in your soul?
28. Fear not to make confession of the Christ before the sons of men, and God will own you as his sons and daughters in the presence of the host of heaven.
29. If you deny the Christ before the sons of men, then God will not receive you as his own before the hosts of heaven.
30. And more I say, Fear not when men shall bring you up before the rulers of the land to answer for your faith.
31. Behold, the Holy Breath shall teach you in your hour of need what you should say, and what is best leave unsaid.
32. And then the Christines went again to teach the multitudes.

–Aquarian Gospel 109

As you let the words roll into your being. Take time to simply close your eyes. Allow your hands to seek out the colours and the paper without judgment, without earthly vision. Begin moving them on the page. Slowly open your eyes as you work the colours and images out.

What is coming through?

What is being revealed about your journey?

What is to be released as you complete the image of colours?

What has the Holy Mystery released from your past?

Now take a moment to slowly enter a meditative breath again. This is the past, this is what has brought you to this point. Take a moment to acknowledge the journey. To thank it for bringing you hear, honouring it.

Now take a moment.

Are you ready to release it?

If so, light it on fire with a candle and watch it burn away.

The past is simply the stepping stones to now. Now is the path revealed for the future.

Are you able to watch the ashes fly and enter the now?

Tear equity in Reconciliation

Sacrament:

a religious ceremony or act of the Christian Church that is regarded as an outward and visible sign of inward and spiritual divine grace, in particular.

For any pilgrim, it is the ceremony that is the outward reflection of our inward journey. Throughout Christendom there has been a sacrament of penance/confession. That is admitting when one has done wrong and seeking unity again with God. But this is a simpler understanding of what it has morphed into, now the sacrament of reconciliation. For this is a deeper understanding of holy relationships that permeate everything. The interconnection of the Holy Mystery in all, with all and through all. For Christians, it is the Holy Spirit, for others the creative force.

This is what ego, greed (pick your word for that which removes you from the flow, and allows “other” to create division) disrupts. It is the time of deep inward reflection, to be able to understand pain we have inflicted, or pain that has been inflicted, wrong done to us, or wrongs we have done to others, the list can go on and on.

Yet the piece of the sacrament that we have learned from our brothers and sisters around the world, is that the story needs to be told. It needs to be out there, and then we need to decide to move forward from that in a new beginning.

            My Father used to say,

Don’t raise your voice, improve your argument.

-Desmond Tutu

The moment when you can move from shouting matches, to actual discourse, dialogue, debate and argument is the moment you are no longer seeing one another as other but as equals in discussion…once seen as equals, you can move forward.

This is the sacramental challenge that lays heavy on my heart. For I do much work with folks throughout their lives to speak the truth of their story, and then to reconcile to move forward. Then there are moments when I am too stubborn to do the same.

Yet the Creator knows those moments, and enjoys laughter. It is in these moments that outward acts begin forcing inward change. I do not know where it will lead or what it means. Am I in a hurry to once again become a member? No.

But the last several weeks being back in a United Church of Canada congregation has become a sacramental act of reconciliation for me. My story has been told, it is out there for the universe to know. Now, it is time of contemplative action, letting my kids wonder in Wonder Kids, and rest in a chair during the service with the wife. Am I ready to move forward?

The new beginning has been laid before me.

The soul sludge is burning off.

Moments of laughter.

A social gospel congregation?

Yes, it is easy to rest in the labels of other, but at our core we part of the family of humanity on a journey to make our little corner of this world better.

Sometimes, it is simply easier to release that which may be holding us back on the journey towards the heart of the sacred, and the sacred heart that exists within us.

And yes, sometimes, that which we thought had been put to rest and released, was not and it takes literally stepping across a new threshold to reveal the light that burns off the darkness.

Now the question that remains when reconciliation work is working…

What is next?
What is the new beginning?

For, that is yet to come…

and blessedly undecided…

yet will be chosen with a refreshed heart, mind and soul.